Gravity’s Got No Effect On A Bad Grandpa – Biff Bam Pop’s Box Office Predictions

Double, double toil and trouble;

Films will play, and our coin will tumble!

All apologies to William Shakespeare, but the accurate prognostication of the cinematic box office takes a bit of the black magic. JP here, filling in for the currently indisposed Andy Burns, Editor-in-Chief of Biff Bam Pop! and regular sorcerer of this column. Hey, we’re six days away from Halloween. I’m in the mood!

There are three new movies out this week, and all are looking to re-write physics and bring Gravity, the current cinema champion, down to earth.

Follow me after the jump to see what answers my black art drums up!

It may be absolutely silly, but I’m thinking that Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, starring Johnny Knoxville, is going to make some mad money this weekend? Did you know that Jackass 3-D, released a few years ago, made over $50 million on it’s weekend debut? I didn’t. I had to look that up. That’s scary money for some pretty stupid yuks. And the way I figure it, it’s been a while since we had a stupid yuk kind of film at the theatre. We’re due. Now, I’m not saying Bad Grandpa is going to make huge money, but after consulting the arcane zodiac, I do think it’s going to top the box office this weekend with a solid $30 million in ticket revenue.

For me, that puts Gravity in second place. What goes up, must come down, but for a film that’s been out for three weeks already and garnered over $177 million, second place ain’t so bad. There are still people who haven’t seen it (like me) and both they and the eye of newt say that it’s on pace for a fantastic $22 million this weekend.

Captain Phillips, starring Tom Hanks, has its sights firmly set on a third place finish with $11 million. At least that’s what my chicken bones say each time I throw them down.

And that leaves us with an interesting dilemma.

There’s another big film being released this week. The Counsellor, starring a great cast of actors in Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz and even Brad Pitt, has been getting some awful word of mouth. Which is really too bad, since it’s directed by one of my all-time faves in Ridley Scott, from a story by Cormac McCarthy of No Country for Old men (such an awesome film). Not many are giving much respect to The Counsellor in terms of what kind of coin it’ll bring in. Although the trailer looks somewhat interesting because of the star power involved, after seeing the quite forgettable commercials, advertising that most people view, I tend to agree. Pitted against the underperforming Carrie remake, I think things get worse for the film.

This soup I’m concocting, made of root of hemlock and wool of bat and scale of dragon, is a bitter gruel indeed!  I think Carrie is going to get a final $9 million Halloween push this weekend, placing it in fourth place and seeing The Counsellor debut at a seriously disappointing number five with only $8 million!

So, to recap, here are my witchy divinations for this weekend:

1) Bad Grandpa – $30 million

2) Gravity – $22 million

3) Captain Phillips – $11 million

4) Carrie – $9 million

5) The Counsellor – $8 million

There is a third new release this week. The foreign French film, Blue is the Warmest Colour, based on the acclaimed 2010 graphic novel Blue Angel by Julie Maroh and retitled to match the film version), appears in limited release. It was the winner the Palme D’Or at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. Because it’s in so few theatres and also because it has a dreaded NC-17 rating, which is a damn shame, you won’t see it on any “Top Money Maker” lists. Maybe it’s meant for European audiences. Still, it’s definitely a film with a good soul, worth checking out. You can find the trailer here.

Be sure to check back on Sunday wherein we’ll discover the accuracy of my sorcery! Heh! Heh! Heh!