Whether it’s over the Cosmic Seed, or through the deceptions and manipulations of Loki, J’Son, or even Thanos – the war between Spartax and Asgard is on, and Star-Lord and the Guardians of the Galaxy are right in the middle of it. Can they stop it before it’s too late? Meet me after the jump for my thoughts on “Asgard War, Part One: Lightnin’ Strikes.”
Thor, Dumb as Thunder
I like Thor, I like him a lot, but I really don’t know what it is the powers-that-be in the Marvel Animated Universe have against the guy. He is a warrior, a leader, and while he’s not a rocket scientist, he’s no dumbass either. In the first two seasons of “Avengers Assemble,” and especially here on “Guardians of the Galaxy,” he’s written like a cross between the Hulk and Val Hallen from the Justice Friends on the old “Dexter’s Laboratory.” What’s up with that? There was even an episode of “Avengers Assemble” where he dropped out of school.
Thor has led armies, led the Avengers, he is a master strategist, and most importantly, he has known that his brother Loki was a liar since they were toddlers! Why would he believe or even listen to anything Loki says? He got that memo ages ago. And why, oh why, would he leave Loki to ‘guard’ Asgard in any situation?? Do you let the fox guard the chicken house? Nope. So why would anyone leave Loki in charge of Asgard??
War!
We do however get to see a bit of Thor’s leadership and mad combat skills when Asgard attacks Spartax. Against a fleet of Spartaxian ships, Asgard pits one open Viking ship (sailing through space a la Silver Age JLA Kanjar Ro) with Thor, Angela, Heimdall, Fandral, Hogan, and the Destroyer armor. Asgard decimates the fleet.
This brought back memories of the Kree-Skrull War and later space clashes in which Thor and the Avengers took on space born threats. The thunder god has sometimes been accused of slumming with his Earth companions, but at times like this, and also here in Infinity, Thor shows the full potential of his power. Do not mess with Thor in outer space.
Jailbreak
Meanwhile, Star-Lord and the Guardians of the Galaxy have been imprisoned. Captain Victoria makes a return appearance, but what about Mantis? Isn’t she in Spartaxian custody as well? Was her presence earlier just a tease with no pay off? Nevertheless Victoria allows Quill and friends a way out, but Dad isn’t going to let that happen.
It comes down to father vs. son as seen in this week’s sneak preview, with deadbeat dad’s elemental gun able to do things Star-Lord never imagined. The son discovers the father is more of a rat than he ever thought. The trash talk about Peter’s mom really pushes it over the top. And again, the rest of the Guardians are reduced to secondary roles, sidekicks, and one joke characters.
Kitchen Sink Destruction
The third act of this episode is a mess, and makes little sense. Loki remotely turns the Destroyer armor on Thor. Once the thunder God is seemingly out of the way, Loki comes to Spartax to arrange a ceasefire. He doesn’t even blink when the truth about the war and its causes are revealed, almost as a punchline, he pardons himself.
I could almost see the showrunners realizing they’d written themselves into a corner of preposterousness. When Thor and Star-Lord show up, not dead at all, that’s when the kitchen sink gets dropped into it. Thanos arrives. I guess he’s going to fight everyone. Pardon me while I stifle a yawn…
Next: Thanos vs. everybody??
