Nobody wants to hate a film, right? I mean, I don’t. I never walk into a movie anticipating hatred, or yearning to hate what I’m about to watch. That’s why I could never understand all the folks hate-watching the second season of True Detective. Yes, agreed, it wasn’t nearly as strong as the first, remarkable run. But really, if you don’t like watching something, just turn it off! That’s what I do.
Usually.
The other night I watched The Gallows. I hadn’t heard much about it when it was in theaters this summer, but I recently saw the trailer in front of the DVD of Hidden, which I recently watched and reviewed and highly recommend. I liked what I saw and optimistically put The Gallows on.
Little did I know I’d be witnessing one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in nearly 40 years of movie watching.
The story, as much as I can make out of it, begins 20 years ago, when a student is accidentally killed during a high school performance of a play called The Gallows. His spirit than returns to take vengeance on four students who apparently have some kind of connection to him. Really, I tuned out.
I tuned out!
My friend, The Gallows is absolutely the worst sort of horror movie you could watch. No discernible logic at all. Horrible acting. Unlikable characters. No real scares. Predictable jump scares that aren’t scary.
Holy shit, this movie was fucking terrible.
As I was watching, I texted a few colleagues who I know and respect and asked if The Gallows was not simply the worst film ever made, and everyone essentially concurred.
How does this happen? How do you make such a horrible movie? I really, really have no idea.
Please understand, I take no pleasure in writing with such negativity. But I only stuck it out for you. Yes, you. Because you must be warned to stay away from what may be the worst film ever.
Do yourself a favour – go watch Hidden or even Experimenter. Both are highly recommended.
Oh look. A new camera technique. Let’s call it ‘shaky cam’.