Tainted Love: Caught Between A Woman, A Man and A Swamp

Tuesday, February 26. A dog day in the month of love.

Cupid’s come and gone, sweet first blush has turned to red-faced anger, text messages have gone unanswered, and all that’s left of chocolate gifts are their shredded wrappers.

Have no worries, pet. As alone as you may feel, someone’s always got it worse than you. Why, we here at Biff Bam Pop! have been celebrating the swoon of tainted love all month long! We’ve covered the subject in film (here, here and here), prose (here) and comic books (here, here and here).

But if you’re somehow still under the thrall of adoration’s venomous poison, let me introduce you to comicdoms most famously tainted love affair, that of the unbeknownst three-way between the hauntingly beautiful Abigail Arcane, the crusty con-man John Constantine, and the muck-encrusted monster known as Swamp Thing.

Love, I’m afraid, never ceases to surprise. Or sicken.

Our amorous tale begins within the pages of the monthly comic book, Swamp Thing, specifically issue #76, a critically acclaimed darling that carried a “Suggested for mature readers” label. It’s the summer of 1988, and Abigail Arcane, one of the supporting characters of the title, has already fallen in love with the good natured, all-powerful force of nature known as the Swamp Thing. Together, they live deep in the Louisiana Bayou, away from the prying eyes and mischievous hands of evil men. To those that don’t understand, Swamp Thing’s a moss and twig covered, shambling monster, but to readers, he’s the good guy that has saved the world countless times over using his mastery over the “green.”

Don’t ask how Abby and Swampy <a-hem> express their mutual love. They just do. And Swampy, made of the foliage that surrounds him, can change his shape and <a-hem> size, as it suits him. I don’t recall, in any of the panels of any of the comic book issues I read, Abby complaining about his bedside prowess.

Ok. I’m taking my tongue out of my cheek, if only for a moment.

During the 1980’s, Swamp Thing was a horror comic, popularized by the award-winning writing of Alan Moore. At this particular point in time, Moore had left the series for other pursuits, but Rick Veitch undertook the unenviable task of taking over for Moore – and he did it with aplomb, keeping the dark feel already established in the book and really making the characters his own. Here, the relationship between woman and monster became as real as any other “normal” male/female relationship. It was a metaphor for exploring discrimination, prejudice, and, indeed, racism.

One of Veitch’s greatest achievements during his run on the series was devising the birth of Abigail and Swamp Thing’s daughter. Every monster elemental needs an heir, right?

But how does a plant well, literally plant a seed in his spouse? In “L’adoration De La Terre”, that’s where John Constantine, everyone’s favourite rogue magician comes into focus. Although Abby absolutely abhors the man, the sun, the moon and the stars are all in alignment for Swamp Thing to possess Constantine’s body, invoking his own consciousness within the sperm seed that will impregnate his love, eventually giving life to his progeny. You’ve heard of donor sperm and egg? Think of Constantine as donor body. Abby can’t stand the idea of having sex with a man she’s physically repulsed by, but Swampy reassures her that although he will appear as Constantine, it will be his consciousness that she makes love too.

There are so many levels of “tainted love” already at play in this situation: the two-way love, both physical and emotional, of a monster and a woman as well as an apparent form of adultery. The second chapter, the physiologically repulsive side of this particularly disturbing tale, is told in John Constantine: Hellblazer #10.

Jamie Delano, writer of the Hellblazer series, had already given us horror stories detailing Constantine’s background, specifically his relationship with an insidious demon named Nergal. This demon had saved Constantine months earlier by giving him a blood transfusion in order to torment him again at a later date. So, with demon blood coursing through the rogue mage’s circulatory system, Swamp Thing unknowingly possesses Constantine’s body in order to impregnate Abby. That plot device would eventually come home to roost.

With Constantine’s consciousness pushed aside by Swamp Thing’s, in “Sex and Death”, the mage traverses the astral realm, “expelled,” we’re told, “explosively thrust into a trembling temporary world.” Is this what pre-conception is like – a screaming, harrowing journey of observation without understanding? Is this the gleam in every would-be father’s eye? Used as a device to forecast upcoming storylines, Hellblazer #10 is a memorable issue as it is the first for new artist Richard Piers Rayner, a personal favourite on the series. We’re introduced to the character Zed, the embodiment of the new Mary, and the cult called The Resurrection Crusade as well as The Damnation Army, threads that will later be pulled in Delano’s “The Fear Machine” storyline. This issue is also the prelude to the famous “Newcastle” chapter of Constantine’s history, a story best saved for another time.

The demon blood running through Constantine’s veins makes his consciousness visible to Nergal, who sets out to hunt the man down through the other realms. In fear, Constantine races to regain his body – prematurely from Swamp Thing’s point of view – and there, in the midst of passion with Abby, at the very moment of conception, the con-man breaks through into the real world.

And Abigail Arcane’s worst nightmare is realized. As I mentioned earlier, love, indeed tainted love, never ceases to surprise. Or sicken. In so many ways, absolutely sicken.