So, confession. I’ve never read The Outsiders or seen the movie based on it. So if this episode has carefully crafted references to it, I am the last guy to catch them. Mea culpa!
This episode has two plots wrapped around it like strands of DNA. Neither of them can be considered an A or B plot. So let us simply refer to them as whiteand black. They’re as equally delineated by gender as colour.
The episode starts with Archie and Jughead playing video games in a pot-hazed room, which probably explains why Jughead is always jonesing (Jones-ing?) for Pops cheeseburgers.
In plot White, Hermione Lodge decides to organize a baby shower for Polly, who’s staying with them while she decides her fate and the fate of her baby.
In plot Black, Fred struggles to get construction started on his new project when the Blossoms steal his crew. Archie and his football team come to the rescue, lugging rocks to prepare for more skilled labourers. I wonder how fiscally good an idea it is for Blossom to offer Fred’s crew two years pay as a strategic move.
After the crew has completed their work for the day, a pair of ruffians strike, attacking the generator powering the site. Moose gets worked over by them, but since he’s a bull stud (his words; not mine), he’s fine.
The baby shower goes nicely, with the Blossoms gifting Polly a stroller and Alice giving her her childhood nightlight. Grammy Blossom performs an incantation to determine the baby’s sex, and also discovers there are two children, a boy and a girl.
And, let me add, Cheryl? Gypsy blood? Not cool.
As well, did the convent of shame not have an obstetrician on staff? I mean, Polly is, what, four months in? And hasn’t had an ultrasound? Is this mid-century Ireland?
Polly reveals that her dad was going to procure an abortion for her. This puts Alice into a rage, and it’s revealed that she had gotten pregnant with Hal in her own early days, and had terminated that pregnancy. She orders him from the house.
Archie and his gang join Kevin’s paramour, a member of the Serpents, to investigate the Serpents’ HQ to see if any of their members attacked Moose. When they’re there, FP Sr’s role as leader of the serpents is revealed.
In the end, he acts as a sort of savior to Fred, bringing a group of Serpents in to act as an impromptu construction crew. He also reveals to Hermione Lodge that the toughs who tore up Fred’s site were from Quebec, where her Husband has interests.
I would like to point out that it’s not impossible that the family whose fortune was built on maple syrup may ALSO have interests in Quebec. And you think Moose might have noticed if the ruffians playing whack-a-mole with his face had thick Joual accents? Maybe? A little?
FP acts as some kind of mastermind. He seems to be playing the Blossoms and Lodges and the forces of John Law against each other. And he’s using Kevin as a pipeline to his dad, as it’s revealed Kevin’s serpent boytoy is actually not that into him. A single sad tear for Kevin.
In other bad news, Polly decides against going home (Sorry, Alice, but a night lite just doesn’t make up for sending your grandkid to gestate with nuns) and moves into Creepy Blossom Estates.
