I hate vampire movies. Can’t stand ’em. I was going to say I’m just sick of them after the complete societal overload of Twilight and all that other b.s., but truthfully vampire have just never been my thing. The guys are always kind of girly, the women are all redheads and the story is just always the same: Some blood-sucker falls in love with an innocent mortal, and oh no, what ever are they going to do now? Boring. When Summer of Blood was brought to my attention and presented as a vampire movie, I was not interested whatsoever – until I saw the trailer and not only laughed out loud but also wanted to punch this guy right in his face right through my screen, which is the kind of hatred I sometimes appreciate feeling when watching a film.
Erik Sparrow (Onur Tukel) is a total waste – he’s fat, lazy, rude, and completely arrogant and self-serving. When his girlfriend (a woman who could do a million times better a million times over) proposes and he turns her down (HE turns HER down!) and when she immediately (obviously) finds a better man before the night is even over, Erik decides to play the field a little bit. He believes himself to be such a hell of a good catch that it’s no problem, right? He is every woman’s dream, right? Ugh.
After a series of less than stellar dates with several different women (some of the most Woody Allen-esque hilarious scenes I’ve seen in ages), Erik finally gets depressed, realizing that maybe he lost more than he realized when he lost his lady. Stumbling home one night, he meets Gavin (Dustin Guy Defa) who it turns out is a vampire. Thankfully, he isn’t wearing a ponytail tied back with a gigantic bow, he isn’t dressed in lace-trimmed anything and he speaks modern English. In fact he’s pretty normal looking, even a little nerdy. Gavin takes advantage of Erik’s depression and current death wish to feed his own bloody habit, and turns Erik into a powerful blood-drinking monster.
Aside from the need to drink blood, Erik’s transformation is almost 100% positive. He convinces one of the women he horrendously disappointed in bed earlier in the film to give him a second chance, and after blowing her mind and completely redeeming himself after their first encounter, he tears her neck open with his teeth. Romance. And then there were two. And Erik, being now even more selfish than ever before, doesn’t stop there.
Because of Summer of Blood, I now have a favourite vampire movie. The humour is so tongue-in-cheek, so dry, and this guy is such an asshole that you can’t help love how much you hate him. He’s the worst getting worse and it’s hysterical. The vampire side of the story is almost secondary, which adds to the absurdity and comedy of the whole thing. It’s almost like, “So there’s this guy, he’s a total prick, he treats women like garbage but thinks he’s god’s gift to them. He has a crappy job and is just a typical middle-aged loser… Oh and he’s also a vampire.” It almost shouldn’t work, but it does. I’ve already recommended this one to a few friends who feel the same about vampire movies as I do, and they’ve loved it. So even if you hate Twilight and True Blood, give Summer of Blood a chance.