Grab on to your brooms my little witchy poos! Last week on American Horror, we learned that the dead don’t stay dead, and only the good die young. Will Fiona Goode (Jessica Lange) battle with the Voodoo High Priestess, Marie Laveau (Angela Basset)? Will poor Zoe get over losing Kyle? Will Madison use her telekinetic powers to get Congress to end the shutdown? Find out what’s on the curriculum for the students of Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, after the jump.
What Ever Happened to…?
Looking like a scene right out of the 1962 movie, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane ?, Fiona does her best Joan Crawford impersonation, keeping Delphine LaLaurie in Bette Davis mode; trussed, gagged and hidden away, that is, until little Nan sets her free. Fiona wants the secret formula that has kept Delphine alive the past 180 years, so she heads to the Hair Salon of Marie Laveau (Angela Basset) for hair braiding and a little resurrection.
Like I said before, nothing stays dead in New Orleans and some swamp men find out the hard way why you shouldn’t mess around with Mother Nature. Yes, Misty Day (Lily Rabe) is alive and she’s moving and grooving to the music of Stevie Nicks. Hey this witch has good taste. She gives the gator hunters a taste of their own medicine.
Back at the school, we learn about Queenie’s back story. You don’t want to get her angry while she’s cooking. And, Zoe and Madison are question by the police about the bus accident. Then, Fiona enters the room. She does a little mind game with the police and sends them on their merry way. With a flick of her wrist, Fiona sends Madison and Zoe crashing into the walls. Jessica Lange is at her best when she’s angry.
While most young girls head to the mall for a day trip, Zoe and Madison head to the morgue. Madison wants to make amends to Zoe. She wants to bring Kyle back to the land of the living, but there’s one itsy bitsy problem. The accident has left the boys from the bus accident in pieces; lots of pieces; one big bloody jigsaw puzzle. No problem, Madison tells Zoe, “We’ll put all the best parts on Kyle.” It’s like the “Build a Bear” shops at the Mall, only gorier. Even though black magic doesn’t bring Kyle back, a kiss does. Our little Zoe has trouble controlling her new (and in some areas improved) boy toy, Frankenkyle, but Misty Day comes to the rescue. Maybe, with the help of Stevie Nicks’ songs, gator poo and swamp mud, Misty can fix Frankenkyle. Will he like his new body? I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to find out.
Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson) and hubby, Hank (Josh Hamilton) are having a problem getting preggers. Nothing works; I guess it’s time for some black magic. Cordelia and Fiona have a strained relationship, but we haven’t learned why.
Except for the upsetting torture scenes in episode one, I’m really enjoying season 3 of “American Horror Story.” The witty give and take between Fiona, Delphine and Marie Laveau is funny and cutting edge. The plot is frightening and the gore plentiful, but the tongue-in-cheek dialogue between the main stars makes it easier to overlook the nasty stuff. I can’t wait to see what happens at the school next week and maybe we’ll learn more about Nan. Remember, nothing stays dead in New Orleans, and Stevie Nicks is a white witch.