31 Days of Horror 2013: Sleepy Hollow S01 E05: “John Doe”

Well, my little headless horsemen, last week we learned some background history on sisters Abbie and Jenny after they sent last week’s featured creature, the Sandman, packing. We definitely need to find Ichabod Crane some updated fashionable clothing. Can’t have our Colonial stud muffin looking dated, now can we? Why are Abbie and Ichabod sporting similar hairstyles? And where oh where has our headless horseman been hiding. Who is the featured creature on tonight’s show? Let’s head over to Sleepy Hollow and find out.

John Doe

A boy is seen running through the woods, meets up with another child and gets chased by Attila the Hun only to wind up in the Sleepy Hollow Emergency Room? Who is he, where did he come from and more importantly, why are his veins black?

On the other side of town, Abbie helps Ichabod Crane move into Sheriff Corbin’s cabin in the woods. Does the word squatter mean anything to Ichabod? Ichabod asks Abbie if he should update his clothing. I’ll answer that question. “Yes, Ichabod, run, don’t walk to the nearest mall.”

When Abbie is called onto the case, Ichabod starts speaking Middle English to the boy. Ichabod studied the language at Oxford. Is there nothing this man doesn’t know or can’t do? Detective Luke Morales (Nicholas Gonzalez), Abbie’s former boy toy is a bit jealous and asks, Capt. Irving why Ichabod is allowed on crime scenes. I’ve been asking that very question since episode one.

Roanoke

Ichabod questions the boy, whose veins are getting darker and darker, and learns that his name is Thomas. The boy had followed an evil girl through the woods and became lost. Ichabod deduces from the boy’s speech and clothing that he’s from the Lost Colony of Roanoke. What? Where? And how? The boy’s condition worsens and the people, who work on Thomas, start dropping like flies. It’s contagious. Ichabod and Abbie head to the woods where the boy was originally found to look for clues.

The Village

Using the skills he learned from fox hunting as a child, Ichabod is able to trace Thomas’s steps, walk on water and enter right into one of M. Night Shyamalan’s movies. Yes, Abbie and Ichabod meet the cast of “The Village” and learn that Roanoke was cursed and hunted down by a second horseman of the apocalypse. Remember that Attila the Hun look-a-like that was chasing the boy, well, his real name is Pestilence and he loves to spread germs and he’s also our featured creature of the week

Abbie and Ichabod have to return the boy to his time period or he will die. They better hurry. With nine grandchildren, I’ve learned the hard way that the little darlings can be walking petri dishes; germ conveyors. Our stud muffin, Ichabod, comes down with the disease before he can return Thomas to his village. We learn that Katrina Crane (Katia Winter) is hanging out in purgatory. Rats! I guess the nuns at my school were telling the truth.  But, don’t worry Abbie gets a message from the BIG GUY; GOD, and saves the day.

Conclusion and Big Fat Spoiler Alert

This show took a big leap of imagination with combining the lost colony with purgatory and the apocalypse. Plus, the scenes seem rushed, with Ichabod conveniently landing in the right place at the right time, and always arriving at a happy ending. Detective Morales is the only one asking the right question. Why the heck is Ichabod participating in the cases? But, Captain Irving’s explanation and actions are suspicious. I’m really trying to like the show… but… maybe when the show returns on November 4th, the writers will put a little more plot into the storyline. This week, I’m taking a survey. Would you like to see Ichabod wearing updated, sexier clothing?