This episode of The Ones Who Live tied in somewhat with why I am late with my review. I was officiating the wedding of the eldest of my nine grandchildren. I partied too hard. Drank too much, and here we are with Episode 5 becoming a sort of honeymoon for Rick and Michonne. I hope my grandson’s honeymoon goes much smoother.
Become
We start with a surprise glimpse in the form of Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) spotting helicopters flying over. Where is he, and who is he looking for? It appears that Gabe and Anne aka Jadis (Pollyanna McIntosh) have been meeting for years. One day a year to be exact, and Jadis is looking for redemption. She tries to keep the artist inside herself alive. She wasn’t always a bad person, she tells Gabe, but…we all know that her Jadis persona works for the CRM. Jadis and the CRM have this weird way of saving the world while killing people with poisonous gas.
Gabe, on his part, has a wedding ring that he was holding for Rick (Andrew Lincoln) to give to Michonne (Danai Gurira). Gabe tells Anne that if she ever sees Rick, to give it to him. So, let me get this straight…Anne/Jadis is going to confession once a year to wipe out the blood on her hands…but she doesn’t tell Gabe that Rick is alive, and she doesn’t tell him that Alexandria might be the next community to get liquidated by the CRM if Rick ever escapes? Do I have this right?
I was brought up Catholic in South Philly. There were a lot of Mafia members living in South Philly back in the day. For the right price, the Church would give you a funeral fit for a king…even knowing that you were a hitman, or worse. Got it. So…these meetings between Gabe and Jadis were meaningless. And while the confessional is going full blast, Michonne and Rick are on a honeymoon.
Noodles
After finding cases of Tasteful Noodles, they rescue three people from Steam Vent Calcified Walkers. Michonne even gives these losers a few bags of noodles, but do these losers appreciate the gesture? Nope. They pull a gun on our lovers. Rick allows them to live, which proves to be stupid. Michonne, on the other hand, may have watched a few Seinfeld episodes before the apocalypse happened. “No noodles for you,” and off Rick and the Noodle Nazi go to find the perfect honeymoon spot, which turned out to be Three Pine Cabin. It even had a gift shop, where they found a little hatchet for RJ and a bracelet for Michonne. Everything is lovey-dovey until an unexpected wedding guest appears.
Conclusions with Spoilers
I think “The Walking Dead Universe” needs better writers. They always, and I mean always kill interesting characters. First, how the hell did Anne/Jadis find Rick and Michonne? Jadis claims to have seen their car and that she followed the empty bags of noodles like some warrior Hansel and Gretel, and she brought along the three noodle losers. What follows is a car chase and a battle, but before Anne/Jadis meets her death via calcified walkers, she tells Rick that Beale was ready to give Rick the “Echelon Speech” where all the CRM plans for the universe would be revealed.
It is at this very moment that Michonne and the viewers see Rick’s eyes glaze over like Homer Simpson drooling over a donut. WTF! Right before Rick puts Jadis out of her misery, she tells him where she hid her dossier and the location of Alexandria.
I don’t know if it was the one too many glasses of Black Russian that I had at my grandson’s wedding, but the fact that Rick and Michonne decide to return to the CRM base makes absolutely no sense at all. NONE!!!
Gabe may have known the person named Anne who was an artist before the apocalypse, but it was Jadis who gave Rick and Michonne the location of her dossier. I don’t think this honeymoon is going to end well… Rick and Michonne should have gone home.
Season finale next week.
