American Horror Story: Hotel S05 E06: Room 33


Holy Children of the Damned! Last week’s episode of “American Horror Story: Hotel” had the SWAT team sweeping in to save the teachers and the kiddies from an attack. What the cops didn’t know about the little tykes might come back to bite them; literally. While Alex and Holden share a coffin, Ramona and Donovan plan their revenge. If we stay away from Room 33, we might survive the night.


I love the flashbacks offered to us in the show. There is so much information to sift through if you don’t mind getting a bit bloody. The countess needs a doctor, but it’s not a cold she’s trying to ditch. The dots are beginning to connect when we realize the doctor is Charles Montgomery and his home is the Murder House from season one. Yep, we’re talking that Charles Montgomery with his Dr. Frankenstein complex who was addicted to ether and did all those experiments on animals and his son Thaddeus.


Abortions have been performed since ancient times, but usually, the woman having one is not deader than a doorknob. The abortion turns into a delivery; vampire begets vampire, but unfortunately for the nurse, the baby is born hungry. Vampires having babies is not new, thanks to Bella and Edward Cullen, but Bartholomew is definitely not a Twilight child. The countess brings baby Bart back to the Cortez and keeps him in Room 33.


If given the chance to be immortal, would you take it? What does it mean to be immortal? How do you keep from going mad? Apparently our two little Nordic victims, Vendela and Agnetha have discovered that being stuck for eternity at the Hotel Cortez sucks big time. Knowing that they’ll never be able to leave the place of their death, they roam the halls of the hotel like lost sheep until Donovan tells them that they need a purpose in life.


Ramona and Donovan for some unexplained reason are able to leave the hotel. This is never explained, and I don’t like holes in a plot. Ramona and Donovan, who know that the countess is in Paris with Mr. Drake, plan on killing what the countess loves most. The vampire toddler brigade is missing, their coffins moved by Alex and Liz. Iris goes searching for the coffins while Ramona heads to room 33.


This man is a cop who has seen things at the hotel, and yet, he stays. When he’s awakened by Holden, he follows his son to the pool area where he finds the coffins. Alex drugs John in order to hide the coffins and trick her husband into thinking he dreamed the whole thing. Wes Bentley’s character has left me puzzled and quite frankly, uninterested in what happens to him. I don’t blame the actor, but the script. John is a cop, so why are the writers making his character is so clueless; so easily tricked. His wife was sleeping in a coffin!


Alex, while searching for the missing baby Bart, finds the Nordic girls with a dead guest. They are still trying to find a purpose in life, but random killing didn’t do the trick. Alex tells them don’t kill the guests, play with their minds, then she sends them after John. What a bitch! John finally leaves the hotel, but he has something extra in his suitcase. He picks up Scarlett who has been dumped at granny’s house and takes her home.


While most of the sex scenes got in the way of tonight’s episode, there was one true love that wasn’t tiring and that was Denis O’Hare’s Liz. Denis plays his Liz as a well-dressed, all-knowing, sassy, sarcastic and likable character. Liz’s acerbic comments are hilarious and they take the edge away from the horror that is splashed upon us.


Liz is in love with Tristan. While the other characters show no affection towards each other, Liz loves Tristan physically, emotionally and mentally. He talks about classical literature and shares books from Bronte and Wilde. But, their love might not be looked upon fondly by the countess.


Ramona wasn’t able to kill baby Bart and neither was John with his bullets. Alex finds the baby outside her house after she sends her poor daughter back to granny’s house. Scarlett has been neglected by both parents and that is the real horror of this show. While little Scarlett wonders why her mother has no time for her, Alex sits in Room 33 nursing the injured baby Bart back to health.


When Tristan balked at helping the countess get Drake aroused, I knew that things would go badly for Liz. The countess does not share. Liz, always the loyal friend, told the countess that she was in love with Tristan. Liz asked for the countess’s blessing.

Lady Gaga was at her best tonight as the creature who loves her pets until it’s time to move on. She bewitches those who love her only to abandon them to an eternity of loneliness. They are forbidden to love anyone but her and, all the while, she betrays without compassion. Ramona tried to warn Liz, but love is blind. Tristan knew how evil the countess was, but Liz still believed in her friend.

Lady Gaga plays her blood sucking Countess as one would expect an immortal to behave. When you live forever, you find yourself living for the moment. Everything else bores you. When you’re an immortal, you ignore how the living age and die around you… that is until a mortal asks for your blessing.


I wasn’t impressed with episode six, except for the connection with the Murder House and baby Bartholomew. The characters of John, Alex, Ramona and Donovan were just a visual diversion to a mostly bland episode. What held my full attention was the heartbreaking and wonderful performance by Lady Gaga and Denis O’Hare. The countess doesn’t share and when she gives her blessing, she takes what you love the most. Goodbye, Finn Wittrock. You’ll be missed.

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