The Walking Dead S05 E05: Self Help


Holy Looney Tunes! I’ve always felt that Team Rick’s biggest threats were not so much the walkers, but their fellow survivors. I was right. On last week’s episode of “The Walking Dead,” we learn Beth’s location and that Beth is stuck between a mad doctor and bad cop, but luckily for her Carol has arrived via stretcher. Is there a cure for this apocalypse? Only Eugene knows for sure… or does he?

Bus to Nowhere

Back in the day, our class trips on the ole school bus to the Willow Grove Amusement park were a bit on the dangerous side especially since we had no seat belts and they didn’t do driver background checks back then. It’s a wonder we made it to our destination in one piece. Tonight’s opening scene was a great reminder that there is no safe road in an apocalypse.


While Sgt. Abraham (Michael Cudlitz) and Rosita banter back and forth, Glenn asks the question on everyone’s mind. What’s with the mullet, Eugene? Is he like the Biblical Samson? Is it his source of power? Josh McDermitt does one hell of a great impersonation of Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), especially with his monotone about carbon in the atmosphere, human genome projects and climate change enabling airborne pathogens. He may be onto something.


After the bus mysteriously crashes, Sgt. Abraham seems to be coming apart at the seams both physically and mentally and he’s having flashbacks. Who were Ellen, A.J. and Becca? We finally get to meet with Abraham’s past through flashbacks. This season is running side by side with the comics, and Abraham has to kill the men who raped his family. These were his neighbors, his friends, who betrayed him with a brutal act against the weak and Abraham being a soldier took care of business with a vengeance, but with his family ‘s death by walkers we find Eugene on his knees; gun to his mouth.

Mullet Man

Eugene is the sacred cow. He arrived in time to give Abraham a reason for living. Protected by Abraham, protected by the group Eugene may know how to save the world, but he sucks at saving himself.

Without the bus, the group is forced to take shelter inside a library where Abraham gets his hand stitched up and “a piece of ass.” While Rosita (Christian Serratos) and Abraham go at it hot and heavy, Eugene is caught spying on them from the “Self Help” section of the library. I so do love the writing on this show. Eugene is one creepy guy. What’s creepier is his admission to Tara (Alanna Masterson) that he caused the bus crash. Yes, my little zombie snacks; it’s out there. Eugene is sabotaging his own mission with crushed glass in the fuel line. He never wanted to leave the church. I was surprised that Tara kept his secret.


Spotting a firehouse across from the library, Abraham’s suggestion to use the fire truck for a road trip is spoiled when the group is attacked by walkers. Fire hose in hand, Eugene comes to the rescue using the water pressure to create his own walker massacre. Eugene is a hero and the best thing since a goat rodeo, at least according to Abraham.


There are no mechanics around when you need them. The fire truck ride is short lived and the group has a choice. They either go through thousands of walkers to get Eugene to Washington DC or retreat back to the church. Abraham is a soldier with a mission; help Eugene save the world. The other members of Team Abraham reply with a rousing, “No way.”


What I really like about season five is that we are learning more about the people in the show. Abraham lost his family. He had given up on life, but then Eugene stumbled upon the scene. Eugene’s arrival gave Abraham a quest; a reason to live. Eugene was hilarious as he tried to outrun the walkers.


Sex and the apocalypse, you can’t deny that it would happen. I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often. When there is nothing left of humanity, the only way to feel human is to share in the most basic of pleasures.

Eugene has a big secret. Would he be worth saving if he couldn’t save the world? Tara tells him yes. When Abraham goes against reason and begins to drag Eugene towards the mass of walkers with the hope of getting to Washington, Eugene finally comes clean.


Eugene was a coward, a liar, a saboteur. His only chance of survival was to claim he could save the world. Abraham was a soldier, a hero who had lost his reason to live; he needed a quest. Like symbiotic entities, Eugene and Abraham fed off each other; one giving hope, the other protection. The truth finally revealed leaves Eugene beaten to a pulp and Abraham back on his knees. The apocalypse is hard for both heroes and cowards, alike.

See you next week, my little zombie snacks and keep notes on where to find water during an emergency, for example, the toilet. You never know when you might need to bug out.


3 Replies to “The Walking Dead S05 E05: Self Help”

  1. Why would you blindly believe that lie? The way it always looked was that he was given orders but clearly not. Silly boy 🙁

      1. I suppose that’s true, would be dead without him. Still that is a whopping revelation 😀

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