American Horror Story: Coven S03 E11: Protect the Coven

Last week’s episode was definitely a magical delight with the special appearance of the White Witch herself, Stevie Nicks. But while Stevie treated us to a serving, although rather small, sampling of her songs, Madison, Fiona and Marie Laveau were serving up their own songs of betrayal and murder. The witches have a war on their hands with the Delphi Corporation. Nan is dead and Misty is stuck in the grave? What happens next? Find out after the jump.

The Funeral

We get to see a flashback to how Delphine developed her fetish for human blood and her love of torturing the poor unfortunate people who happened to land in her path. I love the elaborate dress that Delphine wears to kill a chicken and one of her farmhands. Delphine is one sick witch and Kathy Bates should win the Emmy for making us love this hateful character. That my little witchypoos is what acting is all about.

Fiona, Marie Laveau, Zoe, Kyle, Madison, Cordelia, and Myrtle are at the cemetery saying their farewell to Nan. It’s a sin that Nan fell into the tub, right? What a big surprise to see Kyle back on the show. Evan Peters is in the new X-Men movie where he plays the character, Quicksilver. Glad he’s back. Guess who else is back? Queenie and Delphine (body and head reunited) return just in time for the war with the Corporation. I told you nothing stays dead in New Orleans, but no one is really happy at this reunion. And when is Misty going to escape from that coffin? The Corporation is also burying one of their own while making plans for the upcoming war.

Arrangements

There is a whole lot of dealing going on at Miss Robichaux’s School of Screw Ups. Everyone has a favor to ask. Delphine is not a happy camper she wanders around the school in a daze. She has to clean the house, wash the clothes, cook the meals, pick up after the little darlings and babysit Marie Laveau’s baby. Everyone mistreats her. Welcome to motherhood, Delphine. But… Delphine finds a way to cheer up. She tortures the gardener. It surprises me to no end that no one hears the moans coming from Delphine’s room; except Spalding. Yes, Spalding has returned, if only as a ghost. He tells Delphine that he knows how to kill the immortal Laveau, but Delphine must do him a favor.

The Axeman wants Fiona to go away with him. He has this farm with cows. I can just see it now, Fiona milking a cow; not!  Does Fiona really love this man or is she leading him on? I’m not sure. They’re both cold blooded killers. The Axeman must do Fiona a favor before they head out to the sticks.

Zoe is using her magic to learn the truth about Nan’s death when Madison sashays into the bathroom and demands that Zoe share Kyle, but Kyle and Zoe love each other and refuse. They argue until Myrtle walks in and delivers the best punch line, ever. She calls Madison a “bubble head with crotchless panties”. I love the writers on this show!

Queenie is angry with everyone and Cordelia makes a gruesome sacrifice to save the coven.

Best Laid Plans

Delphine returns with the object that Spalding requested in exchange for the poison that will kill Marie Laveau.  What is this poison that is strong enough to kill an immortal? What was the object that Spalding so desired along with a certificate of authenticity?

Myrtle gives Zoe a gift to hock and tickets to ride. She tells Zoe to take Kyle to Epcot. Will Zoe heed the advice? Kyle is afraid to leave; afraid that he might hurt Zoe. I love these two kids and I’m hoping our star crossed lovers do better than they did in season one.

The show down between the Corporation and the Coven is on and each side makes offers and counter offers while the waiter serves them cocktails. Will a deal be reached that will satisfy both parties?

Conclusion and One Hell of a Spoiler Alert

I love this show. Every week is a big surprise and nothing is what it seems. Cordelia has blinded herself. Will it be worth it?  The meeting between the Coven and the Corporation ended quickly thanks to the Axeman. I was not expecting this, but what a great way to end a boring meeting. Delphine poisons Marie Laveau and plunges a knife into her, but she’s not dying. Seems the poison was nothing more than Benadryl; great for allergies, not murder. While Delphine tries to figure out how to bury the sleeping Laveau, Spalding is playing with the baby. This is enough to give me nightmares. On the bright side, Zoe and Kyle are off to Disney World. I can’t wait to see what happens next week my little witchypoos, and if you’re at EPCOT, say hello to Zoe and Kyle for me.