American Horror Story: Coven S03 E09: Head

Delphine in a box

Beware the Postman! The dog doo is about to hit the fan at Miss Robichaux’s School of Screw-Ups.  In episode 8, someone delivered a package to Fiona. Well the good news is Delphine is now home with her fellow witchy poos. The bad news; she left something behind, like a body. Remind me never to piss off the Voodoo Queen. Crazy Joan gives nasty enemas and there’s a hit man in the hood, but with Misty around; nothing stays dead for very long. How will Fiona handle this mess? Find out after the jump.

Marie Laveau ep9

The Brotherhood and Delphine

We learn who’s in charge of the witch hunters. Hank’s father is the CEO of the Delphi Corporation. He hates witch and liberals. He is, my little witchypoos, responsible for Cordelia losing her sight. Talk about overbearing in-laws. What’s Hank going to do now that he knows dear old dad blinded his wife and who will he side with? Dad wants the witches dead and so does Marie Laveau. She sends a warning to Hank, via voodoo, to get the job done. Ouch!

Fiona takes Delphine to Marie Laveau’s Beauty Shop for a new do. Well, what do you know; Delphine’s body is still moving. Laveau and Fiona argue about joining forces against the witch hunters. Fiona storms out leaving Delphine’s head behind. Poor Delphine! When Marie tells Queenie to toss Delphine’s head into the fire, I thought Queenie would follow orders, but, she had a better punishment for the racist Delphine. Kathy Bates doing the whole head in a box routine; priceless.


Myrtle Serves Lunch

Myrtle feels pity for Cordelia. She thinks of Cordelia as a daughter; would offer her own eyes if she could, but… How can Myrtle help? She invites her fair weather friends from the Witches Council over for lunch. She starts with a bowl of fresh melon balls followed by a side order of revenge. Were you surprised by what happened? I was.

Cordelia teaches Misty Day how to control her powers of necromancy to some Stevie Nicks music of course. Misty brings dead plants back to life; green thumb. I love plants, too… but my plants die. Hank wants to come back home, but Cordelia tells Hank to hit the road. Yes, Cordelia can see thanks to Myrtle. Fiona wants the names of the organ donors. I love Fiona. She’s the queen of satire. Her calling Myrtle a charcoaled briquette was a hoot. Fiona is preparing for war and buys a guard dog to protect the school.

Nan, Zoe, Madison (2)


Zoe and Madison help Nan get past Crazy Joan and into the hospital room where Luke is in a coma. Joan doesn’t believe that Nan is clairvoyant until Nan tells her Luke’s favorite song. What a nice treat hearing Patti LuPone belt out the hymn, “A Closer Walk with Thee.”  Joan invites Nan to keep watch over Luke. Did I tell you how much I like little Nan? Luke tells Nan via telepathy that Joan killed his dad. Joan kicks Nan out of the room. Luke wakes up.


Kicked out of Cordelia’s bed and Miss Robichaux’s Academy of Screw ups, Hank is forced to make a choice; his father, Marie Laveau, or Cordelia. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, so I wasn’t expecting his decision.

Fiona & Kyle

Conclusion with Big Fat Spoiler Alerts

This episode rocked! Starting with Myrtle’s revenge on her Council backstabbers; to Queenie forcing Delphine to watch hours and hours of the films like The Color Purple, “Roots,” documentaries of the Civil Rights Movement and performances by famous entertainers; to Cordelia’s regaining her vision only to lose her second sight; to little Nan protecting her comatose friend from his diabolical mother.

But it was Hank’s unexpected rampage that shocked me the most. I never expected him to shoot up Marie Laveau’s Salon. Queenie was one of the victims, but she saves Marie before dying. Luke awakes from his coma only to have Joan place a pillow over his face; he knows too much. The war is on and the coven and the voodoo queen must fight side by side. Fiona’s dog didn’t last long after meeting Frankenkyle. Damn shame that dog had to die, but no worries; Frankenkyle is a dangerously efficient guard dog.

Ep 10 Stevie Nicks

I’m hoping that Queenie returns from the dead. With Misty Day nearby, no one stays dead. We’re now at the mid-season break and the show returns on January 8th. Rumor has it that the marvelous Stevie Nicks will make her guest appearance on episode 10. Let’s hope so. It would be a wonderful way to start the New Year.

I’ll be back with more recaps when the show returns, but until then, stay safe my little witchypoos and have a Happy New Year.

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