True Blood S06 E09: Life Matters

I would advise against wearing your Manolo Blahnik heels when visiting Vamp Camp. In last week’s episode, “Dead Meat,” Sarah Newlin used Ms. Suzuki’s (Tamlyn Tomita) heels to knock the stuffing out of her. The ever saintly, Sarah, is ready to toast some vampires, but I’m counting on Eric to save the day, especially since Bill is so inept at playing god. Is Warlow dead? Will Bill finish the job? Let’s find out after the jump.

Tonight’s episode was like watching a ball game. You had no idea who the pitch hitter would be. But our Sookie starts off the game by zapping Bill right out of the ballpark and Faerie Land when he threatens her and Warlow. It’s a homerun for Sookie, but she needs to postpone her wedding plans with Warlow to attend the funeral of a good friend; Terry.

Where’s Eric? He’s on a mission; needs to save his friends at Vamp Camp, but he’s being followed by Bill. Vampire Bill has been acting like a loser for the last two seasons and he’s getting on my nerves. When Bill arrives at Vamp Camp, it’s a mess, and what a mess it is. Eric has mowed through the entire security force like they were nothing more than salted peanuts at a ballgame; another home run for the team. He finds Jason close to death and saves him. Together they go looking for Jessica, Pam and Tara.

Bill is acting like a spoiled brat. He wants to be the big hero, but Eric beat him to the punch. Everywhere he goes, Bill finds happy vampires who are busy giving their human captors a taste of their own torture. Ah yes, revenge is best served while still pumping through the veins, and our team has a man on first base.

Now I know you’re just worrying yourself sick about our favorite Terminator, Sarah Newlin. How is she surviving this rescue mission? Don’t worry. Sarah is doing just fine. She must have taken a few lessons from “The Walking Dead” because she escapes detection by hiding under the bodies of her dead employees. You got to love this woman. It’s a home run for the other team.

The Funeral

Terry’s funeral took too long; lots of blah, blah, blah. But…that being said, it was good to see Alcide looking nice and spiffy at Sookie’s side. I love Lafayette, and the many fancy outfits that he wears on the show. He has a passion for fashion and can catwalk down any runway with flair. His choice of attire for the funeral was classic. All of Terry’s friends stood up and gave him a long and proper eulogy. Like I said, blah, blah, blah, but what cracked me up was the wild comments from Hoyt’s mother, Maxine (Dale Raoul) and her friend. Maxine reminded me of the Muppets, Statler and Waldorf; too funny. As a special treat, John W. Godley sang “Life Matters.” The song and the military presence added to the perfect sendoff for a lovable character. But it was the loss of a man on second base for our team.

Ninth Inning and Spoiler Alert

Sarah makes her way to the roof and opens the skylight only to find out that the vamps are not bothered by the sun. Was it Eric who saved them? No it was Bill. How the hell did Bill save the day? Who wrote this episode? Bill is near death after giving most of his blood to the vampires, but Jessica and James come to his aid. I love the way Rev. Steve died, and his last proclamation of love was priceless.

Jason finds Sarah and puts a gun to her head, but he lets her go. Can’t bring himself to kill her. It’s a home run for the other team; and a big disappointment for the fans.

Bill and the rescued vamps dance their way home, but the real hero of tonight’s show, Eric, flies away. Where is Eric going? Where is Sarah going and will she come back to do more bad things? Like I said, tonight’s episode was like a ball game, but I’m not so sure that our team won the game. Are you?