“Baby, I bring home six figures a week!”
Ok, yeah. We’ve all seen those memes. Hardy-har-har. The thing is, I’ve bought a LOT of figures in the last month and it’s high time I review some of them in this here column!
This week, I’ve got a little G.I. Joe Classified, some Marvel Legends, and Masters of the Universe, so let’s begin!
Overkill (G.I. Joe Classified)
Wouldn’t it be cool if Cobra had something like an evil Robocop? They do! Overkill was originally introduced in the waning days of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero as the Battle Android Trooper Commander. Originally designed to be a robot with very advanced artificial intelligence, later versions reinvented him as a cyborg and this figure is no exception!
The interesting thing here is they’ve kept a look very similar to that original robot version, but under his face plate and there’s scarred face with a none-too-happy expression! It’s truly a face only a mother (or maybe Cobra Commander) could love!
I have almost nothing negative to say about this figure. At 7 inches, he’s a little taller than the (sigh…) average Joe, which helps to give him a more intimidating appearance. With that ’90s lime green torso, he may need the help! His accessories are very much inspired by the original toy and include a large sci-fi-inspired gun, a grabbing claw with articulated pincers, a knife-hand attachment, and, according to the original figure’s file card, a “mind control, memory drain unit.” His chest also opens up flasher-style to reveal a small double-barreled machine gun. The design team did a really great job of designing this so it closes up tightly and doesn’t leave any sloppy little gaps or anything. The chest panels do feel a little fragile. I’m not sure they’d hold up to a child’s play, but we all know kids aren’t collecting these things. My only criticisms are that the knife-hand could’ve looked a little more menacing, and the face plate falls off easily sometimes when posing the figure. That said, this is easily my favourite figure of the latest G.I. Joe Classified wave!
The Punisher (Marvel Legends Series)
Hasbro Pulse simply has this figure listed as “The Punisher.” Bigbadtoystore and other online retailers list it as “The Punisher (TV Series),” and Target, through what appears to be sheer negligence, lists the figure as “Spider-Man Legends Mov 2 Action Figure” on its product detail page. Really! Search for “The Punisher” all you want in the Target app, and you will not find it. The ONLY reason I found it is because I bought it in a physical store and went back in the app to check my receipt. Looks like someone’s getting pun– NOPE! Nope! Nope! Nope! I’m already about three dad jokes deep, and I’ve still got two more figures to talk about.
So this figure is supposedly based on the Disney+ presentation The Punisher: One Last Kill, but neither my esteemed predecessor E.A. Henson nor I seem to recall the character wearing a t-shirt at any point in the show. Oh, well! It looks cool! Show ‘em those guns, Frank*! This figure has very good sculpting throughout with a pretty good likeness of actor John Bernthal. The additional “screaming” head can look a little silly, but it’s not bad! The eyes look a little sadder than angry, but not enough to ruin the figure. Articulation is mostly what is standard on Marvel Legends figures except for the excellent double ball-jointed neck similar to what most G.I. Joe Classified figures have. This is the exact neck that needs to be on ALL flying characters from now on. (Great! Another reason for Marvel Legends to sell us the same characters again!) Hopefully, this type of neck becomes the norm. The figure’s legs have a sheen that makes them look like leather pants. The Punisher is an unemployed, rough & tumble kind of guy. He needs some durable stuff! He can’t just set up an account at 5.11! Speaking of stuff, the figure includes the aforementioned second head, a handgun, a shotgun, 2 smoke grenades that attach to the figure’s belt, a knife, a hatchet, 2 fists, 2 gripping hands, and a blast effect that works with either gun. This is ALMOST a great figure.
So where did things go wrong? The hands. I told myself when I got this gig that I wouldn’t use insulting language toward anything, but this figure’s hands suck. The first problem is that they’re a little too small. Not only that, but the wrist joints don’t make sense. Both of this Punisher’s hands have a horizontal pivot at the wrist. Gun-toting characters need at least one hand to have a vertical pivot at the wrist to hold their weapons realistically. The hands this figure comes with make his shotgun virtually useless. Furthermore, the trigger finger doesn’t quite fit or reach either trigger! That’s great if you want a firearm safety instructor figure to explain trigger discipline to your other figures, but it’s not so great for The Punisher! The figure also lacks butterfly joints, which are also helpful when posing gun-toting characters.
I promptly replaced the hands with some much more proportional G.I. Joe Classified hands (which I had to paint). This makes the figure infinitely more enjoyable! The best match would probably be Mainframe’s hands, but many Classified figures have the same fingerless gloved hands. You may also want to replace the included knife with one from Valaverse. They make a near-identical one, but it’s painted and sturdier. It also fits The Punisher’s sheath perfectly!
Goat Man (Masters of the Universe Movie Core line)
Goat Man is a somewhat obscure character in the Masters of the Universe mythos. With only a handful of appearances in cartoons and comics, I’m surprised he was included in the movie, let alone made into a first wave figure! Here’s the thing though: You can only get him through an Amazon exclusive 4-pack. The set includes Goat Man, He-Man, Man-At-Arms, and an alternate version of Skeletor with a soft goods cape and very little paint on his face. Honestly, the single carded version is better. If these are characters you don’t have but are thinking about, I’d suggest holding off on the singles packs and getting this set.
While past incarnations of Goat Man portray him as a masked, armoured humanoid, the movie chose a more monstrous, horned and hooved man with bright red skin and some sort of white face paint or tattoo, perhaps. This is the 5.5 inch/14cm scale kids’ line just like the Skel Knights I wrote about in my last column, but Goat Man has a larger stature than the other figures in the line, standing about a half inch/1.27 cm taller. Goat Man includes a huge poleaxe, which is fun to pose him with, and has the standard articulation associated with this line. For the price, I still can’t get over the detail put into this budget-friendly kids’ line!
That’s all this time! I’ll see you in 14 days with G.I. Joe Classified’s Destro and his Despoiler, among other things!
* Just in case you LIVE IN A CAVE (Just kidding!), The Punisher’s real name is Frank Castle.
