Hey. How’s it going? Feels like it’s been a minute since we’ve checked in. Writing a bi-weekly column about action figures is a passion of mine, but it tends to be tedious work when you don’t have new shiny things to talk about every two weeks. That’s not to say I’ve ever phoned in a column… but it is to admit to You, Dear Reader, that some weeks it’s easier to get done than others. Some weeks I get knee deep in figures and take a dozen pictures and gush about how much I loved something… and some weeks I’m scraping together the latest preorders for figures we won’t see for months or sometimes years.
Speaking of which, while it’s been relatively quiet in terms of new figure acquisitions, I’m expecting a handful of items to be arriving in the next couple of months. Most notably, my Ecto-1 HasLab. In anticipation, I wanted to ensure I had a nice place to display it once it arrived.
The simple need for surface area has started the dominoes falling in one of the most extensive purges of my basement ever. I’ve gone through my storage room and multiple closets, getting rid of anything I don’t need. I’ve rebuilt displays, created new ones. Shuffled around furniture and fenged the shit out of my shui.
It amazes me how much crap we acquire as human beings. I’m fully aware of the fact that we’re at a disadvantage in terms of the psychological warfare we’ve been exposed to by advertising agencies. It’s led to a culture of consumerism that we all find ourselves victims of in one way or another. Set aside all the items attached to our hobbies and interests, and we’re still left with a giant pile of stuff.
I’m happy to report I finally decided I was in the clear to get rid of my PlayStation 5 box from when I purchased it five years ago. I also didn’t add any new cables or cords to the “Box O Wires” that I’ve been carrying with me across multiple moves since the year 2000. After all, you never know when you might need to answer the question, “Have you ever seen one of these plugs? What kind of cord do you suppose goes there?”
This has also provided an opportunity to take a more discerning eye at what I’m collecting.
Wrestling has certainly died off in terms of what I’m buying. I still watch and engage with the in-ring product, but I rarely buy figures at retail unless it’s a Chase figure or a store exclusive that has no chance of hitting the discount bin. For me, I can wait until Ringside does their annual Cyber Black Monday through Friday Holidaypalooza Sale and grab most of what I want for pennies on the dollar.
Wrestling collectibles also have a tendency to lose their lustre when the person playing the character reveals themselves to be something other than the upstanding members of society, which I assume them to be. Say what you want about cancel culture. When little Vince McMahon is sitting on your shelf, you’re going to have to accept the fact that unless you’re a hermit, someone may ask: “Isn’t that guy an accused sexual predator?” Not something people are gonna say about Batman… though if the George Miller Justice League had happened, we’d all have been playing with little Armie Hammers, so there’s that, too. – Hey, didn’t you say you had some Lone Ranger figures?
Another perk of doing a deep dive of my basement is finding things I didn’t even know I had. I found a birthday card from at least ten years ago. Why did I still have it? Because there was an Amazon gift card inside. I swear I’m not a hoarder Y’all. Surprisingly, it still applied $25 to my account without any customer service intervention. I was able to treat myself to G.I. Joe Classified’s Zandar, which has resided on my wishlist since its release and serendipitously dropped to $24.99 at just the right time. Figure Karma – It’s a real thing!
My Hasbro collection has really stalled since I started getting picky about prices. The good thing is that it makes it special when I am able to score Zandar for the price that I want to pay. I miss the days of Ollie’s featuring full waves of figures for half off. Discount stores in my area that were stocked full of Marvel Legends three years ago are still filled with those same Marvel Legends. Product doesn’t turn over there. It goes to die like E.T. games in the desert.
Playing the long game for figures also affords me some relief from buyer’s remorse. I still remember desperately running to multiple Targets on a Sunday morning, trying to grab all the Shang Chi figures. While I don’t regret Stanning Awkwafina, I certainly could have slept in that day. I didn’t preorder the Fantastic 4: First Steps figures. After seeing the movie, I’m glad I didn’t. I didn’t hate the movie, but I also think that I’ll get better MCU Fantastic Four figures when Avengers: Doomsday comes out. This tracks with the fact that my Guardians figures from the first film have all been cycled out of my displays in favour of GotG 2 & 3 figures.
While we’re on the subject of cycling figures out of displays, I’d like a word with the Star Wars Black Series team. I love the new versions of Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie. They look fantastic. I’d say I can’t wait to get them, but I obviously CAN wait to get them. I’ve already bought them at least twice before. While I REALLY want them, I will not succumb to the Dark Side. My New Hope is that I can get a 4 for $50 deal this holiday season… or I can make enough money selling these old figures at a garage sale to cover the cost of purchasing these for the umpteenth time.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some price labels to work on. Let me know if you need an autographed Marty Scurll plague doctor mask… though maybe I can just remove the autograph and use it to protect me from the ACTUAL plague, which is making a comeback. It’s OK. I’m sure the Secretary of Health and Human Services will encourage us to roll around in it to increase our herd immunity. Good luck, all!
