Sometimes, when I need to get away from the drama of the Political Apocalypse taking place here in the States, I will go to the AMC Theatre close by. This week I went by myself and picked what I thought would be a mindless action adventure about Santa. What I got was a much-needed message.
Red One
Definitely packed with adventure, Red One is a Christmas fantasy directed by Jake Kasdan and written by Chris Morgan from an original story by Hiram Garcia. It stars Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, and J.K. Simmons. The story starts with Santa (J.K. Simmons) working at one of the nation’s busy malls. Instead of the fat, jolly Santa that we are used to seeing at the malls, we are offered a superiorly physically fit Saint Nick. Santa is protected by Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) who is an ELF. No, not the loveable and funny Buddy (Will Ferrell) version, but more of a Navy Seals version. Callum works for a clandestine military organization called M.O.R.A. aka Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority, overseen by Director Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu).
What Santa, Callum and Zoe are unaware of is that hacker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) has not only hacked into Santa’s secret hideout, but that he’s sold the location to an enemy. The enemy, (Kiernan Shipka), with the help of Krampus (Kristofer Kivju) have plans to steal all the joy out of Christmas by severely punishing all the naughty people in the world.
Conclusion
Like I said in the beginning, I needed to watch a film that didn’t require much participation from me. I had a choice of films – Heretic or Red One. I already feel like our planet went through some mysterious demonic wormhole, and here we are electing a convicted felon to the highest office of these United States. The felon (I refuse to say his name) was a frequent visitor to Epstein’s Island. EPSTEIN’S ISLAND!
The morning I decided to head to the movies was when the news announced that Dr. Oz would be handling our nation’s Medicare and Medicaid. When you learn about Dr Oz’s wacky medical theories, you’ll understand why I fear for my very life. I had a decision to make. Should I watch Red One or Heretic. My mind can only handle so much horror at one time, so I went with Red One.
Red One was funny in a way that only a thirteen-year-old boy or a grandmother of nine would understand. I actually liked it. Dwayne Johnson’s Callum was fed up with humanity. He got tired of the greed, stupidity, and ugliness of the adults, but Santa reminded him that inside every miserable adult was a child who had lost their belief in miracles.
So here I am, Team Doomsday, trying to regain my belief in miracles. Part of me wants to see humanity evolve into the best we can be, while the other half is hoping for that asteroid to hit, or extraterrestrials to take over the world. Red One helped me to temporarily forget my anxiety over the future, and for that reason I am recommending you take your little ones to watch the film. Better yet, take your parents and grandparents along, too. With Dr. Oz running our health programs we might not be around for much longer.
