It’s Figure Friday, but I’m writing this on a Monday because the rare components of inspiration and time have intersected, and who am I to deny them? Now buckle up as I’m about to write about the stupidest shit you’ll read this week (non-US politics edition).
The Simpsons Blinky in Fish Bowl Vinyl Art Figure BY KIDROBOT
Time is a great teacher. With the benefit of time, I realize how grateful I am to have lived through the golden era of The Simpsons and that those episodes will remain great no matter HOW LONG the show continues. Here’s where I bring it back to toys and hopefully stick the landing.
Ages ago, I slept on getting Kid Robot’s Mr. Sparkle vinyl art figure and had to settle for the smaller 1/4 scale version. It was fine but I relentlessly stalked eBay for years hoping to find the full scale version for what I deemed was a reasonable secondary market price.
Eventually, patience and obsessiveness prevailed, and I got my hands on one for close to the retail price. Side note: I can’t decide if the episode Mr. Sparkle is featured in has aged poorly or not. For the uninitiated, Homer finds a box with Japanese writing on it with a mascot that somehow shares his likeness. I choose to view it as a loving critique of how the average American is blind to other cultures and has trouble reconciling them with their narrow worldview.
Anywho… Coming in December from KIDROBOT is yet another amazing vinyl art figure, and this time, I’ve learned my lesson and will be getting a preorder directly, hefty price tag be damned. The world is going to hell, and I am committed to using every legal means at my disposal to make myself feel better, no matter how fleeting the feeling may be.
Looking for a pet that requires no maintenance? You’re in luck! Especially if what you’re looking for is a mutated, three-eyed fish straight from the waters of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant!
This Blinky in Fish Bowl Vinyl Art Figure is a must-have for any fan of The Simpsons looking to add a unique piece to their collection. Although the iconic orange fish is a by-product of toxic waste, he’ll be a great pet and make a real splash in your Springfield display. This Kidrobot collectible measures 5.5 inches tall and 7 inches wide.
I feel like this thing would look great in the middle of my coffee table or any other flat surface I choose to set it on it my house.
Cheap pickups
In keeping with this column’s weird theme, I snagged a couple of absolutely odd figures for less than $15 total during Amazon The Great Satan’s spring sale.
I don’t think it can be overstated how much I love Grant Morrison’s run on Batman because of what a fresh and strange take on the character it was. Instead of trying to reconcile decades of continuity, Morrison put forth that it ALL happened, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. Especially the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.
Characters like Lord Death Man and The Batman of Zur En Arrh had long since being consigned to the dustbin of comics history until Morrison decided to cook and blew the dust off of both.
Starting with Lord Death Man…well, he’s a guy in a skeleton costume with a cape and a sword, who also appears to be wearing loafers for some reason. Part of McFarlane’s Batman ‘66 line the figure has a surprising amount of articulation above the belt. The ‘66 figures, to my knowledge, all have a t-crotch articulation, which is perfectly fine since they’ve got a distinctly vintage feel to them. Similarly surprising was how clean the paint is on this figure. The white bones pop against the matte black of the costume, and the figure’s gloves and belt are a dark navy blue, which adds a bit more depth to it. Plus, are you even a toy collector if you don’t have at least one cool skeleton guy on your shelf?
The Batman of Zur En Arrh was another character that got the full Morrison. Originally an alien Batman in a story that may or may not have been a dream, the character was clad in red, yellow, and purple and was reinvented fifty-odd years later as a, and I quote, “…backup personality created by Bruce Wayne in the event he was ever mentally compromised.” It’s a bold look for a bonkers story and now I’ve got a McFarlane Super Powers version of it on my bookshelf.
There’s a lot to love about this figure from the tried and true throwback design to the clashing colors that make it look like Batman as colored by my five year old niece. For five bucks it was impossible to pass up.
That’s all for this week; I’ll be back soon with a new Figure Friday podcast!
