Welcome to Figure Friday! I’m The Devil, but maybe you know me by one of my bevy of aliases: Lucifer, The Prince of Darkness, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles or the always popular SATAN! That’s right, the brain trust at Biff Bam Pop! wanted to focus on the Devil for their little 31 Days of Horror promotion so why not bring in the Big Guy himself to drop a devilishly good Top 5 list? So let’s take a look at my Top 5 Satanic Figures along with a Dishonorable Mention.
Dishonorable Mention: Anything in a Blind Box or Capsule
Hell is endlessly opening Blind Boxes and never finding the one you really want. Of course they get The Prince of Darkness’s endorsement! Kids used to put fifty cents in a vending machine for Homies figures. Nowadays, Grown Ass men put $6 in a vending machine for a 60% chance at a Gundam figure. Thats not inflation, that’s willful ignorance and I am here for it!
5: McFarlane Movie Maniacs Lord of Darkness
This is an All-Timer. This figure was right in McFarlane’s Movie Maniacs wheelhouse. Todd could put this one out today with little to no new updates and it would still do well. It’s one of my most iconic looks after all. Those horns were big and bold, but if I’m being honest they weren’t very practical. Such a pain in the ass to get through doors.
4: NECA Ben Cooper Kids Devil Costume
Look at this handsome boy with his priorities in order! Listen kids, despite what your parents tell you, dressing up like the Devil doesn’t make you a bad person. Pledging blind allegiance to a political party that you know is morally corrupt makes you a bad person. If you really want to have a memorable Halloween, tell your parents you want them to vote Democrat on November 5. If they tell you they’re Republicans ask them if they’re excited about Project 2025 and what your future looks like without a Department of Education. Trust me. They’ll love you for it!
3: D13 Toys Biblical Adventures Lucifer
I used to be a Looker, didn’t I? Most of you mortals probably don’t realize that because you’re too busy mining the Bible for verses you can bastardize to suit your bigotry. I tried telling God that you weren’t worthy of his love, but here you are two thousand years later still finding new creative ways to persecute your fellow man despite the fact they were born in the image of your Maker.
D13 toys is owned and operated by Chris Gawrych, current Production Manager for Four Horsemen Studios, so you can expect a good quality product. People have been raving about the Demon figures that have popped up as various Convention Exclusives recently. If you’re less of a Lucifer guy, and more a fan of turning water into wine, you can get your preorder in for Jesus Christ as well. I suggest picking up the Crucifixion Deluxe Set so you can literally nail him to the cross the next time you’re feeling holier than thou.
Four Horsemen Studios Figura Obscura Retailer Exclusive Krampus
Y’all think Christmas is about the birth of your savior? Hell no! Christmas is Santa’s holiday and don’t you forget it! My only problem with The Fat Man’s tactics is the whole Big Brotherness of 24/7 surveillance. I’m more stick than carrot, and real recognizes real. Hence the reason I’ve been an ardent supporter of Krampusnaucht for centuries. ‘Tis the Season to snatch misbehaving children, after all!
This Krampus features a red paint app, updated from the all black original. Horns, hoofs and all red. I’m not saying he looks like a certain someone, but I will say this looks surprisingly like the Satan figure the Horsemen pitched me a few years ago looking for an official licensing deal. I’d be upset at the end-around, but I invented loopholes in the first place, so… respect. For now…
1: Marvel Legends Mephisto
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. My number one figure doesn’t exist and it’s all because you didn’t back the Engine of Vengeance HasLab. Wasn’t your Dark Lord worthy of a measly $350? You dropped that much on Starbucks last month.
They made the Daimon Hellstrom figure that was offered in the HasLab, so maybe a Marvel Legends Mephisto is still possible? They name checked Mephisto on Agatha All Along recently. Might we get an MCU Mephisto before we get this one, if ever? It’s unfortunate as this was a great looking figure, and you only have yourself to blame for not having it.
Well kids, it’s time for me to get back to the brimstone and fire. Don’t forget to have your pets spayed and neutered. If you’re ever in need of a couple bucks, I’m always in the market for a few good souls.
