Orphan Black S03 E06: Certain Agony of the Battlefield

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Holy Houdini! On last week’s episode of “Orphan Black,” Helena made one hell of a great prison escape, thanks to a few pats of butter. We learn that something is wrong with the girls who sleep with boy clones. Could it be clone STD? Are the answers in the log books? Will Felix find Sarah? Only the scorpion knows for sure.

Bubbles

In one of the most bizarre scenes, I’ve seen yet with Tatiana Maslany and Kristian Bruun as Alison and Donnie Hendrix, tonight’s episode ranks up there as #1. This show is not complete unless we are treated to the weekly “Orphan Black” version of Bonnie and Clyde. Tonight was a blast as Alison and Donnie get into their drug cartel mode, but their dancing and contorting on the bed to rapper Riff Raff‘s “Dolce & Gabbana” was priceless.

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I’m so happy that the writers made Donnie more clueless. Kristian plays his character’s dorkiness with finesse. This new Donnie is the perfect sidekick to our Ninja soccer mom, Alison. While Alison’s old schoolmate/new drug partner expresses concern for her ability to run drugs, Donnie pulls up in a brand new car. He doesn’t understand the theory of money laundering, yet, but no worries; Alison has a plan. All this stuff with the drug business started because Alison is determined to win the election for a seat on the school board.

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Rachael

While Shay woos Cosima, Felix and Mrs. S use Skype to chat with Kira. Mrs. S is content to wait for her comrades to locate Sarah’s location, but Felix is not known for his patience. Thanks to Scott, Felix gets to talk to Rachael. Delphine and Cosima have an uncomfortable meeting while going over Gracie’s test results. Is Delphine still in love with Cosima?

Paul

What is the story with this man? Does Paul work for Castor; the military; the government? He’s a spy, but who does he swear loyalty to? He better decide soon because Sarah is in big trouble. Something in those log books makes him suspicious enough to hand one over to a friend in the government. So what is the purpose of the Castor clones keeping log books on their sexual conquests? The answer might be connected to what is being done to Sarah.

After being deserted by Helena, Sarah receives a transfusion from Rudy, she gets very sick, in fact, she is sick enough to leave her body and visit someone on the other side. Beth’s message to Sarah is, “Don’t ask why, ask who.”

Conclusion and Spoiler

Helena was on the run from Rudy, but her arachnid scorpion friend was a little bit too condescending; the hungry Helena ate it. Did you know that scorpions are related to spiders, mites and ticks? Was it dangerous for Helena to snack on a scorpion? Probably not, there are almost 2,000 scorpion species, but only thirty to forty of them have strong enough poison to kill a person.

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Don’t squirm my little clone club. Helena was on the right track, even if her scorpion was imaginary and not considered a true insect. Bugs have lots of protein and are considered a healthy choice of food in most parts of the world. Why? There are at least 170 million insects per person. That’s a lot of six-legged protein bars. Back in the day, when I worked at the Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexel University, we had several traveling exhibits that featured bugs from around the world. On special weekends, we would offer bug snacks for our visitors to try out. Barbeque flavored crickets or mealworms were the biggest hit. You might want to check out the nutritional information for bugs in case you’re ever lost in the woods, or in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

Felix never did get Sarah’s location from Rachael, even after he dabbed paint on her nice clean eye patch, but thankfully, Scott realized that Rachael knows how to break her father’s code. I almost felt sorry for Rachael in this episode. She’s also a victim of circumstances beyond her control.

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Cosima and Delphine realize that the protein engineered into the Castor clones’ brains can infect a woman’s ovaries; making the ladies the clones sleep with, sterile. Cosima still wants to hang out with Shay, but I’m not sure we can trust this girl. There is something very strange about Shay.

As for our comical drug cartel team, Alison and Donnie have taken over her mother’s shop and are set to sell lots of dope in a soap.

Paul Part 2

Paul was in love with Sarah. Too bad he waited until the end of this episode to mention it. Dylan Bruce’s character, Paul, kept us confused about his intentions for the past two seasons and, even in tonight’s episode, we weren’t quite sure which path he would choose. Paul was a double agent, but it was Mark who helped him find the test results from those log books.

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Sterilize the enemy. This is what Project Castor and Dr. Coady are all about. Everyone who had sexual relations with the clones developed a sexually transmitted disease that attacked their ovaries. Why have expensive and destructive wars when all you have to do is orchestrate a permanent elimination of your enemies; bio eugenics.

Tonight’s episode ended with an explosion and death. Another clone bit the dust; Miller. But, it was Paul’s death that upset me. I didn’t expect him to do the right thing. He’s disappointed the Leda clones so many times before, but in the end; he did what was right. Paul was captured and killed by Dr. Coady after he helped Sarah escape, but he had an ace up his sleeve; a grenade.

Helena ignored the scorpion’s advice and went back to save her sister. I’m hoping that Mark escaped the explosion and makes his way back to Gracie. Ghost Beth gave Sarah a clue, but it’s up to Sarah to find out who is behind the Castor and Leda Projects. Goodbye, Paul and Pupok.

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