Pdawg Recaps The Sh!t NaOnka Says! More Zingers From The Pride of L.A. On Episode 9 of Survivor Nicaragua

I’ll start off by saying even if NaOnka doesn’t win the million (she actually has no chance), she should be given her own talk show on Showtime or HBO.  She has so much to say and so many insights that it would be a shame to waste her skills by sending her back to her teaching job in L.A.  More on that later.


In episode 9, the new Libertad tribe begins to splinter as alliances, old and new, take shape and paranoia sets in as the players wonder why certain people are off talking with each other while others are left at camp.

The reward challenge was a team obstacle course.  Somehow the teams were randomly selected and ended up being divided along gender lines.  Since there was one extra male in the game, Chase was left out of the challenge and asked to pick who he thought would be the winner – if they won, he got to share the reward with them.  Chase, proving that he his more heart than brains, aligned himself with the women in a challenge that required physical endurance and strength – you can guess how this turned out.  The men managed to pull their weakest link, Danny, through the challenge while the women had trouble getting through a bamboo and brick wall.  While Chase and the girls headed back to camp, the men got to go zip-lining through the jungle tree-tops and enjoy a Nicaraguan BBQ. 

Marty took the reward opportunity to try and rally the men together and set a strategy in place to eliminate NaOnka and her idol.  While the men seemed receptive, Sash is clearly running the show and doesn’t jump on the Marty bandwagon.  

The immunity challenge is Survivor’s version of the memory game.  The players must remember a series of shapes/images in order to stay in the game and win individual immunity.  It comes down to Marty versus Brenda, but the 24-year-old Miami native proves she is much more than a pretty face by easily beating Marty for immunity.

At tribal council, Marty does his best to save himself by once again attacking Jane and her motives, as well as NaOnka for stealing the flour last week.  While Jane doesn’t fight back, NaOnka unleashes a potty-mouth bleep fest on Marty.  When Fabio tries to calm things down, she turns on him with a few expletives and NaOnka-isms.  Shocked, host Jeff shakes his head and wonders how she is still in the game.  NaOnka takes that opportunity to shoot a few comments at Jeff about who she is and what she’s f’n all about.

I am sad to say that this week saw the most interesting player left in the game, Marty, voted out.  Say what you will about the 48-year-old technology executive and his tactics, but Marty was, as he put it, playing the game.  He found an idol, he made alliances, he bent the truth when he had to (grandmaster chess player?) and he put his neck out on the line by calling out the likes of Jane and NaOnka.  Unfortunately, as has been the case for the last few seasons, the best player doesn’t always win, and in Marty’s case, he was by far the best of the Nicaraguan players.

Time to handicap the remaining ten players and their chances of winning the millions bucks:

Long-Shots:

Danny – somehow he manages to stay in the game even though he contributes nothing to his tribe.  Because of this, and the fact that he has money at home, he has no chance of winning.

Kelly (Purple) – honestly, other than her name, I know nothing about her.  She is so under the radar that she barely gets any face-time.  She is a pawn and has no chance of winning.

NaOnka – she may very well go all the way, but there is no chance of her being given the million dollars. 

Jane – If Jane makes it to the end, she will win.  Marty is right.  She has the best story and if she defies the odds, she’ll get the money.  There is no chance of Brenda and Sash keeping her around long enough to let this happen.

Movers:
Fabio – he has played a great social game and could win a physical challenge down the road to keep himself in the game.  He may also be playing the ‘dumb blonde’ card to his advantage.  If he can form an alliance that dethrones Brenda and Sash, that could be his ticket.

Benry – much like Fabio, Benry has played a great social game and likely has no enemies at camp or on the jury.  He is a major physical threat and could win a few challenges down the road to guarantee himself a spot at the end.

Holly – she seems to loved by everyone and unlike Jane, has no target on her back.  Down the stretch, she could be an important swing vote and someone needed for numbers.  This will keep her in the game and could leave her in a position of power when it comes time to pick who stays and who goes.

Chase – my preseason favourite is proving he can play a social and physical game.  He is tight with Holly from the old Espada tribe, as well as with Benry and Fabio.  Chase might be the best candidate for a blindside down the road as I doubt he will outwit Brenda and Sash.

Shakers:

Brenda and Sash:  right now, this is their game to control and win.  They are a powerful and smart alliance but there can only be one leader.  Sash is smart, calculated and low-key while Brenda is manipulative, savvy and cut-throat. The last one standing in this alliance is likely your winner.

The Scribe Has Spoken…
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