Feels like it’s been a minute since I’ve had the opportunity to talk about G.I. Joe Classified figures. Fortunately, a trip outside of my normal hunting grounds landed me Crystal Ball! My most eagerly anticipated release and a figure I feared lost to the dreaded Walmart Preorder Cancellation Curse. While one preorder was cancelled, Walmart DID make good on the Ghost Viper and D.I.R.E. Beasts set. If that wasn’t enough, I also managed to score a handful of the Legacy Firefighters at half off and Law and Order on discount. This week, we have a lot of great Classified figures to discuss! Yo Joe!
What a weirdo! Originally born from a conversation between Stephen King and his then-9-year-old son, Owen, Richard “Crystal Ball” King has arrived in the Classified line! I never had this guy as a kid, and if we’re being honest, I wouldn’t have bought him as an adult, but hot damn, I love me some translucent plastic! The original ’87 figure had a lenticular shield, which returns this time around, but the Hasbro team enhanced it even further by adding an attachment that makes it look like mystical snakes are crawling out of it. Add in a matching sword and a swappable Cthulu-esque head, and you’ve got a figure worthy of my shelf.
Ghost Viper with D.I.R.E. Beasts
Feel free to refer back to my previously mentioned love of translucent plastic; if there were any doubt, I would want to pick up this deluxe offering. Ghost Viper with Dread Inducing Responsive Energy Beasts is quite the mouthful, but you can just call them the greatest army builder ever made. I’ve been loving what Fresh Monkey Fiction has been doing with their Operation: Monster Force line. These Ghost Vipers would look fantastic alongside those figures. I’m hopeful these are plentiful, and I can assemble a small platoon at a reasonable price. Most of what’s in the box is a reuse of existing moulds, but it all feels fresh when you throw in that spooky green deco. While I might not be too crazy about the additional spooky heads, the spooky hands look great on Crystal Ball.
The Legacy line of Classified figures is a homage to the days of 12-inch G.I. Joes, with no identity other than job title or military rank. The Classified Legacy figures have been deluxe offerings heavy on accessories with a price tag to match. When I came across the Firefighter at half off, I jumped at the opportunity to grab a handful for figure photography purposes. These are excellent army builders. I had the opportunity to grab two more and almost regretted not grabbing them, as you can achieve at least six unique looks based on the various helmets, heads, and masks. The accessories are aplenty. The only thing missing seems to be a firehose, but if a rescue is in order, these Legacy Firefighters have you covered.
The original ’87 Law was based on Hasbro Executive and G.I. Joe Champion Kirk Bozigian. This version of Law resembles “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes. I’m not sure if that was intentional, but with the helmet on, the resemblance is hard to ignore. While I’d normally pass on anything with Police in the DNA, the real reason I’m buying this two-pack is for The Good Boy, Order. While I love the Classified line for trying to protect Man’s Best Friend with a bulletproof vest, that thing got removed straight away. I’m all for realism, but animal companions in the G.I. Joe Universe are indestructible and not susceptible to injury. Order continues the Classified tradition of making exceptional articulated animals. If I can manage to track down that Polar Bear v Snake Eyes 2 pack at a reasonable price, I’ll close out my Classified year on a high note!
