We’ve been spoiled by South Park games in the past, with Stick of Truth and Fractured but Whole being shining examples of how to beautifully incorporate the insane and often chaotic world of South Park into fun, RPG-style games. They touched on all aspects of the show, with the hilarious and often dark humour the series is known for, along with fun level design (think Mr. Slave’s large intestine), and the often laugh-out-loud moments that make South Park so enjoyable.
All of this made the announcement of South Park: Snow Day! an important one for me. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it and dive back in to hang out with the characters again. South Park: Snow Day!, however, isn’t the game I expected at all. Developed by Question LLC and published by THQ Nordic in association with South Park Digital Studios South Park: Snow Day! sheds the previous RPG elements in favour of a rogue-like progression system that has players using cards to upgrade abilities and powers.
While the previous two games had somewhat open worlds to explore and comb over for secrets and items South Park: Snow Day! delivers an extremely linear, repetitive and frankly empty level design. All this game had to do was give us more of the same. While I applaud the developer for trying something new, it can’t be excused that instead of a funny story, interesting combat and great characters, we got a one-note story with very little replay-value, some of the worst combat I’ve ever seen in a game, and almost no interaction with the characters (other than the random 1st graders you beat up endlessly, but more on that later).
South Park: Snow Day! picks up where Fractured but Whole left off, and with the previous game being completed, the kids now find the town completely covered in the worst snowfall they’ve ever seen. Cartman, in true fashion, cares little about the safety of others and – finding out the school is closed – gets on his wizard attire and calls Stan, Kyle et al. together to figure out who or what is behind this unusual amount of snow. It starts out with promise, but you’re soon shown the combat and it kind of feels all downhill from there.
Players can choose between daggers, a sword/shield combo and a battle axe as melee weapons. The weapons matter little however, as the hit boxes are atrocious in this game, and often you can swing three or four times at an enemy before a hit registers. The movement feels really airy and light, and I found myself running past enemies while trying to hit them most of the time. Jumping is awkward and somehow even less accurate, so I used the dagger dive maneuver regularly to stop myself from jumping, rather than to attack. The ranged weapons (there are three: a bow and arrow, wizard staff and magic wand) aren’t much better, as the aiming on them just felt off, and they take so long to load up, and do so little damage, that I often just didn’t use them at all. This is all aggravated by the fact that you constantly fight 1st graders who repeat the same comments over and over again when they die. Barely charming on your first play-through, by the time you’ve died a couple of times and had to start over, the phrases like “Hey, we’re just playing pretend!” or “I’m dead!” start to get really annoying.
Players can also use two upgrade cards at the beginning of the level, which can augment and upgrade their weapons and abilities. One card, for instance, lets you shoot multiple arrows instead of one from your bow, while another allows you to do more damage when attacking from behind an enemy. These are one of the only redeeming parts of this game, as it is fun to get stronger as the level goes on, and hunting for them is rewarding as well.
The flip side of the coin, however, are what’s known as Bullshit Cards. Bullshit Cards give you unfair advantages in battle by doing things like allowing your healing totems to also damage enemies, allowing you to become a giant and wreak havoc and other advantages. The problem is that your enemies also have them, and while the abilities themselves aren’t so bad, they prolong what already feels like much too long battles into even longer slogs. Enemies vary in type, yet there isn’t really a specific way to handle them, other than the “take out the archers first” mentality – so often I just found myself swinging blindly as fast as I could through hordes of enemies, either making it through or dying – but never really having fun. Couple this with the fact that Cartman yells at you whenever your teammates are getting hit, and the whole thing just feels like a frustrating mess. There is a permanent upgrade system that you can use by trading in dark matter that you collect, but the amount required to actually make a discernible difference to your character would require an amount of play that frankly, I’m just not willing to do.
This would all be even remotely acceptable if there was something to play for. But as it stands, the only things you can buy (other than the dark matter upgrades) are cosmetics: new hoodies, hats, glasses, etc. So playing a round multiple times to earn platinum pieces seems like a giant waste of time.
I really wanted to like South Park: Snow Day!, but the clunky, inconsistent combat, lack of any sort of incentive to continue playing and a story completely devoid of any of the charm of the series makes this game almost unplayable. The worst part is that it is based on such a rich IP, with loads of characters, humour, places and situations to draw from – yet somehow manages to use none of it. Here’s hoping that they return to the RPG-style games that they did so well not that long ago. As it stands, this game is one that is surely to leave a bad taste in the mouth of any South Park fan, even at the lower $30 price point.
Do you agree or disagree with me? Let me know in the comments below!
