In episode five of “Twin Peaks,” Cooper and the gang not only found the cabin, but the world can now stop looking for Waldo. Good ole Leland started a new dance craze and Cooper found more than a piece of chocolate on his pillow. I told you how to make a damn good cup of coffee. Have you tried it yet? This week we go undercover. Where is my disguise?
Oh my God! Is Cooper giving Audrey the old birds and bees discussion? “Does that mean you want me to leave?” Audrey asks. I really like the interaction between Cooper and Audrey. It seems real. I get the sense that these two actors, Kyle MacLachan and Sherilyn Fenn were also friends off camera, but I’ll need to check with Andy Burns, author of Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks to find out for sure. Audrey is eighteen, but she’s still in high school and that means jail bait. So, for now, Cooper and Audrey will need to remain friends without benefits.
Lucy and Andy are going through a rough time. She won’t tell him why she’s so pissed at him and Andy isn’t smart enough to figure it out. Most men, if they’re honest about this, have no idea how to handle a woman when she’s visibly pissed off. My advice is to tread softly. But Lucy’s bad mood is because of a hormonal thing called pregnancy. Andy should stay far away from Lucy and hang out with Waldo.
Dr. Haywood is reading up on myna birds which are quite intelligent and can mimic the human voice. Did Harry really expect a reply when he asked Waldo, “What’s up?” Waldo is in bad shape; dehydrated and underfed. Those donuts are not going to help him. Cooper leaves his recorder on just in case Waldo has something to say. Maybe Waldo will ask to see his lawyer. Leo is still alive. This man has nine lives and his wife is a bad shot. Leo knows that Waldo is at the police station. He’s scared. That damn bird is a stool pigeon.
Audrey is giving major attitude to finicky female shopper over perfume. As Ben Horne’s daughter, she sure as hell isn’t worried about being fired. This one scene was not only funny but it was a trip back in time for me. My parents, Fred and Lucy, owned a grocery store in South Philly. It was opened seven days a week from early morning to eight at night. My siblings and I really didn’t want to be behind that counter, but in a family business; everyone was put to work. I was the oldest and after a long day at school, I wasn’t the most pleasant person to have behind the counter. I could be a real bitch. Most of the customers were nice and you could deal with them, but we had a few customers that were a big pain in the rear.
One lady, in particular, came in every day for her luncheon meats. Mary (not her real name) demanded that the ham or the boloney be sliced thin. She meant transparent thin. No matter how thin I sliced it; it was never thin enough. Mary always complained. She wanted the ham thin enough to see through. I lost my cool one day and asked Mary if she was going to use the ham for curtains. My father gave me a smack to the back of the head for sassing a customer. I perfectly understood Audrey’s disdain for the finicky shopper.
Audrey overhears her slimy boss offering a fellow worker a job at One-Eyed Jacks. Audrey is a born detective and a true Gal Friday. She wants to help Cooper solve the case. After leaving a note under Cooper’s door, Audrey goes undercover. She dressed seductively and played the part of call girl to the hilt, but she was out of her league. Blackie guesses correctly that Audrey is more Snow White than Jezebel. Then Audrey does that thing with her tongue and a cherry stem. Smart move, Audrey… or is it?
Cooper and Big Ed are also going undercover. They are looking for Jacque. Cooper is in a tux and he has ten thousand dollars of the government’s money; our tax dollars at work. Cooper and Big Ed pretend to be rich oral surgeons. Let’s just hope no one needs a root canal done while they’re there. Big Ed’s wig and fake mustache is the worst disguise, ever. The funniest part of this whole undercover routine is that Blackie knows that Big Ed is under that cheap wig.
There is a whole lot of undercover work going on in this episode. Maddy, James and Donna are listening to one of Laura’s tapes for Dr. Jacoby. The tapes are seductive, especially when you consider that this is a young high school girl doing the talking.
I keep reminding myself that “Twin Peaks” premiered in 1990. It aired on a major network. Networks have sponsors who get a little nervous if the ratings drop or if a show is too risqué. Unlike cable where everything is up for grabs, this series had to play by the rules, and yet, here is this high school girl talking about her sex life on national television. If Facebook and Twitter existed back then, this episode would have gone viral. When the kids discover that one of the tapes is missing, they hatch a plan. Maddy will disguise herself as Laura and James and Donna will search for the tape in Jacoby’s office.
The good guys are comedic in their attempts to find the truth behind Laura’s murder. Cooper is a government agent and, I’m damn sure he’s gone undercover before, but I think he’s been downing too much coffee because his attempt at fooling Blackie failed. Audrey succeeded at her undercover act as did Maddy, who was able to lure the frazzled Dr. Jacoby away from his office.
The list of bad guys is growing with Hank, Bobby, the Renaults, Leo, Ben Horne, Catherine and Josie. What do we really know about Josie? Not much and, Cooper was quick to point this out to the love struck Harry. Josie is one slick chick who is playing everyone. But, she hasn’t fooled Catherine, who learns through a life insurance policy that Horne and Josey are working against her.
I saved the bad news for last. Poor Waldo the stool pigeon was shot by Leo. No funeral will be held for Waldo, but he did leave some important clues on the recorder.