The Wolverine Is Somewhat Toothless (And Snikt!-less): Biff Bam Pop’s Box Office Wrap-Up Report

Every once in a while within the confines of this column, I get to play the Muppet Show’s Statler and Waldorf to Editor-in-Chief Andy Burns’ box office predictions. It’s a fun gig because being Statler and Waldorf is, essentially, the no-lose scenario: they are the world’s first “anonymous” internet post – untouchable trolls with too much free-reign negativity to say about other people’s hard work and effort.

Now, I may not be posting anonymously, but it’s important to realize that Andy Burns is no Fozzy Bear when it comes to predicting the weekend box office. He’s right more often than he’s wrong. But I remember him relentlessly making fun of my Speed Racer box office prediction, back in the day. And today, I do get a chance to “pick” at his picks.

With the release of the highly anticipated Hugh Jackman ticket, The Wolverine, you’ve got to wonder how well it – and Andy Burns did.

Follow the Statler and Waldorf troll and find out after the jump!

A few years ago, I fell asleep in the cinema to X-Men Origins: Wolverine. You don’t need me to tell you how bad a film that was – but I will anyway. It stunk. Bad. Bad story, bad direction, bad choice of characters. Bad title. But I, along with much of the superhero fan base, was really looking forward to seeing Hugh Jackman’s return to feral form in the James Mangold-directed, The Wolverine, a film somewhat based on the beloved Chris Claremont and Frank Miller mini-series of the early 1980’s. (Go check it out. It’s classic.)

It’s got to be a real disappointment for the Fox studio, then, to accept that The Wolverine vastly underperformed at the box office this weekend, garnering only $55 million. People who have seen it are calling it a non-comic book film, which is just fine by me. I’d attach that statement to Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. You can be sure we here at Biff Bam Pop! will be discussing the reasons for this film’s lack of success in an upcoming Popcast. Perhaps the stench of “Origins” still lingers, but for someone in the know, I completely forgot that The Wolverine was actually being released this weekend – and that’s no fault of mine. Take of that what you will.

Still, don’t shed a tear for The Wolverine. It’s getting decent support from the characters’ core group of fans, which should translate into some long-term international success – and a potential sequel in the months to come.

The Conjuring dropped about 47% from its take last weekend, which is not so bad for a horror film, I’m told. The sequel to Despicable Me continues to rake in the bucks, now earning over $300 million but Turbo, the other animated film out in theatres right now, continues to disappoint. Grown Ups 2 inexplicitly made money as well and finished in fifth place this weekend, bringing its entire take to over $100 million dollars of your hard-earned money. It’s a little strange, the things we’ll toss money at, isn’t it? Hey, good for those guys.

So, Fozzy Burns definitely had all the film box office receipts in order this week – and his predictions were all super-close to what they actually brought in.

All except for that pesky marmot, The Wolverine. It’s debateable, at this point, to say that he’s either toothless or, perhaps, just a little long in the tooth. But Statler and Waldorf are Hugh Jackman fans. And we hope he comes up stronger than ever in X-Men: Days of Future Past.

So, to recap, here were the predictions:

1) The Wolverine – $80 million

2) The Conjuring – $21 million

3) Despicable Me 2 – $14 million

4) Turbo – $12 million

5) Grown Ups 2 – $10 million

And here’s how the weekend actually turned out:

1) The Wolverine – $55 million

2) The Conjuring – $22.1 million

3) Despicable Me 2 – $16 million

4) Turbo – 13.3 million

5) Grown Ups 2 – 11.5 million  

This coming week sees the return of the little blue pixies in The Smurfs 2 as well as the film 2 Guns and the limited release of Europa Report and The Spectacular Now. I’m thinking The Wolverine still has some bite left in him. Be here at the end of the week to check out our predictions!