And we’re live! On the ground here in Toronto for the fiftieth edition of the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), I managed to start things off strongly with FIVE screenings in a day, which is a lot even for me.
So I figured I’d start the morning with a light comedy from A24. Namely, Mary Bronstein’s If I Had Legs I’d Kick You which stars Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, and Christian Slater. I could not have been more wrong, because this was an incredibly tension-filled thing to watch at 9 AM. But that doesn’t mean it was bad or that I didn’t like it. Quite the opposite as Rose Byrne, shot close-up for the majority of If I Had Legs, delivers one of the year’s most powerful and riveting performances where, even though she is portraying something incredibly difficult to observe and absorb, you can’t look away. In many ways it’s a horror story about parenthood – motherhood especially – and how it can subsume your whole life. It expertly wields traditional horror beats – jump scares, body horror, and moody lighting – to tell the story of a woman’s attempts to fight against a multilayered set of traumas. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a powerful and essential story, but perhaps not best consumed first thing due to its Safdie-flavoured tension of the Uncut Gems variety.
I then headed over to catch Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja’s Egghead Republic, a science-fiction alternate reality where an atomic bomb was dropped on Kazakhstan, creating a hot zone that is so irradiated that access to it is extremely restricted. Against this backdrop, a crew from the totally-not-Vice Magazine media outlet Kalamazoo are granted access to the zone. Boss Dino (Tyler Labine), Cinematographers Turan and Jemma, and illustrator and a close relative of an influential writer Sonja. Kågerman’s experience working with the actual Vice organization shows though as Dino’s coke-fuelled rage and sleaze drive his ragtag crew, half of which are doing it for “exposure,” into the clutches of the International Radioactive Arts and Sciences (IRAS) which are undertaking incredibly bizarre artistic projects and experiments. There was a lot here that reminded me of two other Vice-adjacent TIFF selections; Ti West’s The Sacrament (2013) and Eddie Huang’s Vice Is Broke (2024).
Hallucinations, transhuman body modification, avant-garde art, and even centaurs all become part of Egghead Republic‘s twisted adventure that kept me guessing for every single minute. The bombed-out, rippling landscapes of the irradiated zone are otherworldly and resemble another planet, and that makes some sense with the surreal sights, people, and behaviours feel completely alien. This is one of those movies where nothing at all is what it seems.
Speaking of things not being what they seem, it was then onto Genki Kawamura’s Exit 8, based on KOTAKE CREATE’s game of the same name. In this one, we follow a protagonist known only as “The Lost Man” (Kazunari Ninomiya) who finds himself in a seemingly-endless loop of subway tunnels, with the only means of escape being able to spot ‘anomalies’ and changing direction. Along the way, he encounters “The Walking Man” (Yamato Kochi), “The Woman” (Nana Komatsu), and “The Boy” (Nary Asanuma). Events, settings, and even people repeat and loop unless The Lost Man can follow a series of instructions, progressing through levels marked from Exit 0 to his ultimate goal, Exit 8. Watching his progress plays as you might consume a video game playthrough – it’s at times frustrating, but you find yourself cheering each time The Lost Man advances to a higher numbered ‘level.’ Some genuinely skin-crawling imagery and moments punctuate the repetitive, clinical subway tunnel. This ended up being one of the most fun and scariest surprises of the five I saw on Thursday, and I was glad to have a true horror on the menu for the day.
With only about ten minutes between screenings, I raced down the street to the beautiful Royal Alexandra Theatre, where I caught John Early’s Maddie’s Secret. A sendup of the Lifetime movies about eating disorders, Early plays the titular Maddie who becomes a virally popular television and online chef, but who suffers from bulimia. It’s so clear that Early and his cast of friends from Kate Berlant, Kristen Johnston, Claudia O’Doherty, Conner O’Malley, Eric Rahill, and Vanessa Bayer had a great time making this comedy and it had a ton of laugh-out-loud moments, but I felt that it outstayed its welcome for me. It’d be a fantastic Tim Robinson or SNL-esque sketch, but didn’t seem to have enough steam for a 90-ish minute film.
Finally, I found myself at the premiere of Chandler Levack’s second feature, Mile End Kicks. What a way to end the first day, because Levack’s brilliantly-observed and depicted Montreal of 2011 in the wake of indie music acts The Arcade Fire and Grimes and which has blossomed into “the new Seattle,” is a movie I’ll be watching at least annually from now on. Every part of this Linklater-esque ‘hangout’ film, something between his Dazed and Confused and Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous (both of which actually played the 1993 and 2000 editions of TIFF, respectively), feels authentic and true to both the time period and setting. Every character, especially Barbie Ferreira’s Grace Pine, felt like someone I know and all of it is set against great music. 23-year-old rock critic Grace leaves Toronto for a summer in Montreal in 2011 and must traverse the Mile End indie scene of poets, DJ’s, loft parties, and bands, she seeks a fresh start and fresh experiences while she writes her book on Alanis Morissette’s ‘Jagged Little Pill.” It’s a funny, sweet story that does that ‘hangout movie’ thing so well that it made me want to watch it back the second the credits rolled. Of all the great stuff I saw today, I recommend this one the most.
Until tomorrow, gang!
The 50th edition of the Toronto International Film Festival runs from September 4-14, 2025. Ticket and lineup information can be found at the TIFF website, and stay tuned to Biff Bam Pop for our coverage all week!