Gilbert’s Review of True Blood, Season 5

Growing up, I was petrified of Vampires; they were scary blood sucking monsters. But, things have changed thanks to the Southern Vampire Mysteries aka The Sookie Stackhouse Novels by Charlaine Harris. Ms. Harris gave us sexy vampires! Now we can watch Sookie in action on True Blood, HBO’s supernatural blockbuster. So, sharpen those fangs and join me as we review season 5, after the jump.

Quick Intro for the Uninitiated

The name True Blood refers to the Japanese synthetic blood that enables vampires to live among the general public. Most of the action takes place in Bon Temps, Louisiana; home for all forms of supernatural creatures. Sookie (Anna Paquin) is a telepathic, half-fairy waitress in love with two of the sexiest vampires around, Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) and Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard). Her brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is a skirt chaser; a man slut, but you can’t help but love him. Bill and Eric are now competing for Sookie’s love with the handsome werewolf Alcide (Joe Manganiello). When she’s not fighting off monsters, Sookie works for Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell), the shape shifting owner of Merlotte’s Bar. Got it? Hope so. Here we go, after the jump!

The Vamps

Before we start, I have a confession for all the female followers of Biff Bam Pop. I am “Team Eric” and if you want to know why; read the books! I’ve been an Eric fan ever since Dead to the World and if you read pages 119 to 126; you’ll understand why. Taking a shower will never be the same! The vampires of True Blood are either trying to sleep with Sookie or kill her. Tara (Rutina Wesley) is now a vampire; wrong place, wrong time. And if you thought she was bitchy, alive; she’s bitchier, dead. Pam’s (Kristin Bauer van Straten) is a hoot with her sarcastic humor, as she tries to protect Fangtasia and Tara. Rev. Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) is now a vampire; a gay vampire; who lusts for Jason.

Bill and Eric are prisoners of The Vampire Authority, led by Roman (Christopher Meloni), who’s at war with the Sanquinistas. Both groups crave human blood, but the Authority asks before drinking you dry; the other side, doesn’t. Russell Edgington (Dennis O’Hare) is alive and kicking. I know he’s the bad guy, but Russell is too funny, and the episode where he crashes an engagement party and sings Karaoke with the bride-to-be before killing everyone at the party, is priceless! Russell wants Sookie’s special fairy blood; gives the vamps the power to walk in the sun. With Roman dead, the Sanquinistas are in control. Salome (Valentina Cervi) and all the Chancellors are under Lilith’s (Jessica Clark) spell and go on a killing spree. But, hunk muffin, Eric sees the spirit of Godric (Allan Hyde); comes to his senses and tries to protect Sookie and his friends. Bill goes bat shit on Lilith’s blood!

Shape Shifters

Alcide goes nude! Woof!  Alcide killed Marcus, but Sam gets blamed. Alcide and JD (Louis Herthum) fight over who will lead the pack. Alpha wolf, JD, is addicted to V (vampire blood). Sam, his shape shifting friends, and vamps are in danger from racists wearing Obama masks; political humor at its best! Sam and Luna (Janina Gavankar) are shot; Emma (Chloe Noelle) kidnapped by Russell and Steve. Sam, Jason and Andy work together to find the racists, it’s someone they know; pigs are involved; Bud Dearborn (William Sanderson) is killed; Sookie and Hoyt are saved. Later, Sam and Luna save Emma from the vamps.

Humans

Sookie loves Bill, Eric and Alcide; poor girl can’t make up her mind. She tells Alcide about Debbie; they kiss and make out, but Bill and Eric break it up. Sookie helps them find nasty Russell Edgington. Jason and Hoyt (Jim Patrick) were friends since childhood, but that’s over; they both love and made love to baby vamp, Jessica (Debra Ann Woll). I told you Jason is a man slut. Sadly, Hoyt leaves town because of this. Terry Bellefleur (Todd Lowe) and marine buddy, Patrick (Scott Foley) are running scared from a fire monster. They did something bad while in Iraq; Oorah!  Arlene (Carrie Preston) and Holly (Lauren Bowles) get Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) to help, but… Poor Lafayette is under some crazy Voodoo possession. I love the Lafayette character and even when things are going to hell in a hand basket, you can count on Lafayette to be “dressed to impress” for the occasion.

The Fairies

When Jason and Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer) visit a Fairy Bar, Jason learns how his parents really died; a vampire was after Sookie’s blood. Claude (Giles Matthey) and Sookie learn the identity of the Vampire from an ancient contract; Worlow is coming for Sookie. Who the hell is Worlow? Beats me, but the Elder (a wacky doodle) fairy who knows, is killed by Russell. Andy had sex with fairy Maurella (Kristina Anapu); she’s pregnant; gives birth to four hybrid babies; Andy has to raise them. Ha! I was hoping that the fairies would be more like Tolkien’s Elves; they’re not; they’re slackers, what a shame. They do, however, give a great performance on stage.

Lilith

Lilith (Jessica Clark) is naked and covered in blood the entire season. I didn’t know if she was real or a hallucination and I felt the character was used for shock value only. We never get the inside story from her point of view; big waste of a good plot. Maybe, in season six, the new show runner will give Lilith clothing and a personality.

Conclusion

Alan Ball is stepping aside as show runner and Brian Buckner is stepping up to the plate. The show, which returns to HBO, June 16, 2013, doesn’t exactly follow the books, but that’s fine with me. There’s plenty of nudity, sex and drama to keep me happy. Did I mention the nudity? Watch the show; it’s great; you won’t be sorry. There’s just one thing; Eric is mine!