Monthly Archives: June 2010
These Aren’t The Vampires I’m Looking For: Andy Burns On Why Twilight Is Bad For Bloodsuckers
So Eclipse, the third film in the Twilight series, opens today. I know I’m going to come off sounding old and in the way of the youngsters but can someone please explain Twilight to me, becauzs I just can’t figure it out for the life of me. That doesn’t mean I haven’t tried, mind you. Lord, how I’ve tried.
I think I’ve sat through that first film four times now, always with my wife on DVD, and let me tell you, it just doesn’t ever improve on repeat viewings. Robert Pattinson’s Edward Cullen is neither funny nor charming, while Kristen Stewart’s Bella has got to be the worst female character in years for young girls to look up to. Where is her spine or soul? She is so desperate to be with Edward that she totally throws away any semblance of self. The first Twilight film either leaves me angry or depressed, depending on my mood while watching. Though I will once again admit that watching R-Pat play distraught and tormented is hilariously funny every time.
As for the whole vampire thing, let me just say that in no uncertain terms the usage of vampires in Twilight is complete and utter bullshit. To the unassuming masses who don’t know, allow me to educate. Vampires don’t shimmer. They don’t walk in the sunlight, I don’t care how freaking overcast it is outside. They are undead, immortal and drink blood. And once again, they don’t go out during the day! Why couldn’t Twilight author Stephanie Meyers have called her creatures something else? Why does she have to ruin hundreds of years of myth and legend by calling these daywalkers vampires? There are young people everywhere going around thinking all vampires are shiny and sparkly and listen to Debussy. The horror.
It’s not like you can’t do great romance stories with vampires and humans. With his magnificent work on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon created vampires who were dark and sexy and romantic and contemporary without losing what makes them such appealing creatures to begin with. Meanwhile, the romance between Buffy and Angel and later Buffy and Spike worked because you could believe these immortal creatures would be attracted to a smart and strong woman like Buffy. Can you say the same thing about Edward and Bella? I don’t think so.
New Moon, the second Twilight film, is marginally better than the first, though I absolutely despised it upon seeing it in the theaters last fall. Maybe being able to talk through it while watching the DVD helps. Me, if I’m picking sides, I’m Team Jacob all the way. At least Jake has some balls. For whatever reason the guy wants to be with Bella and won’t take her rebuffs in New Moon lying down. He fights for her, even though he knows he can’t win, and he questions why Bella would want to be with someone as dour and depressing as Edward in the first place. Plus, Jake and I have similar chest hair issues.
I’m sure I will see Eclipse at some point, whether in the theater or on DVD, but I’m in no hurry. I’ve done my wikipediaing. I know how the whole thing ends. I just hope that somehow the teenage girls who think Twilight is the be all and end all when it comes to vampires realize sometime soon that the real bloodsuckers don’t moan about the agony of their love or want to marry their prey. They hunger and want to feed. All the time.
And they don’t go outside during the day!
Rewind: Andy Burns on Rush’s Snakes and Arrows
A few years ago (2007 to be precise), I was working with my friend and mentor Jeff Woods on a radio special for the premiere of the 18th studio album from Canada’s premiere power trio, Rush. For this, Jeff had the chance to spend some time with Snakes and Arrows leading up to his interviews with the band and after a few listens suggested to me that the album was Rush’s best since 1980′s classic Moving Pictures.
“Oh come on,” I said. How could it be possible that an album from a band 30 years old could compare with one if their seminal works? While Rush had certainly been consistent with their subsequent releases, and the album’s first single “Far Cry” wasn’t a far cry from their 70′s prog masterpiece “Xanadu”, making those sorts of comparisons can sometimes be suspect. And it also gives the band a lot to try and live up to, right? However, three years later I have to hand it to my old friend. He was spot on about his assessment.
How do you decide what make an album a classic in your heart or head? In thinking about Rush and Snakes and Arrows I realize that for me it’s all about how often you go back to an album over the years. As a fan of the band through my teenage years, I was always picking up their new albums. And while Roll The Bones, Counterparts, Test For Echo and Vapor Trails have their moments, there’s no question that I haven’t spent nearly as much time with those releases as I have with Snakes And Arrows.
What is it about Snakes And Arrows then? Like any great album it’s all about the songs, and this particular release has songs that stand up to repeat listenings. The previously mentioned “Far Cry” is as good an album opener one could ask for, and is also one of the best singles Rush has ever released. It really shook up the fan base too. I remember within weeks of it’s release watching aspiring drummers showing off their chops by playing along with the tune. It also has one of the best lines drummer/lyricist Neal Peart has ever written, in my humble opinion:
One day I feel I’m ahead of the wheel
And the next it’s rolling over me.
But Snakes And Arrows is far from a one song album. Throughout tracks like “The Larger Bowl”, “The Way The Wind Blows” and “Faithless”, Peart writes about his ambivalence with regard to religion and spirituality in a timeless manner that keeps the songs from becoming dated. They’re complimented by some of the most organic music that bassist Geddy Lee and guitarist Alex Lifeson have come up with since, well, Moving Pictures.
Other highlights of Snakes and Arrows are the three instrumentals that are scattered throughout – the 6 minute plus “The Main Monkey Business”, Lifeson’s solo guitar piece “Hope” and the Team America: World Police inspired “Malignant Narcissim”, which finds Peart playing on a scaled down kit while Lee lays down some funk on his Jaco Pastorious bass. While all three are keepers, I think the later may be the best Rush instrumental since “YYZ”. It was a definite concert highlight when the band hit the road in support of the album.
With the release of the new documentary on the band, “Beyond The Lighted Stage” this week, the pop culture appreciation for Rush hits yet another high and the band’s summer tour “Time Machine” is hugely anticipated by fans eager to hear Moving Pictures performed in it’s entirety, it’s worth remembering that Rush is a band whose best years aren’t actually behind them. For proof look no further than Snakes And Arrows, a classic album that just gets better every time you put it on.
DVD Tuesday with Scotty G
Hot Tub Time Machine – John Cusack stars in the comedy that’s plot device can be summed up in the title. Four friends get together (really three friends and a nephew) and go to a place where they had their best memories so they can reminisce about the good old days. The place they go to has aged and faded with time, and their big party plans are thwarted. They get to their hotel, and their hot tub magically starts to work. They get in and party hard, and when they wake up they are in 1986. How the nephew exists in 1986 is explained, but I don’t think you ever really buy it. The plot references Back to the Future a little bit, with the men trying to do everything they originally did back in 1986, so as not to alter the future, but they also realize it is a chance to change their lives that they all hate. There are a lot of jokes, some work, some don’t, but the two real stars are Crispin Glover and Rob Corddry. Glover’s sub-plot about losing his hand is hilarious, and every time he appears on screen you look forward to what might happen and Corddry absolutely owns the character of Lou. It’s definitely worth seeing on DVD.
Creation – This film stars Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly and is about the life of Charles Darwin. Darwin is dealing with the death of his daughter and how he came to write “The Origin of Species”. His theory is not well received by the religious powers that be, threatens his marriage, and almost does not come to be. The film was the opening film of the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival (which is rare considering it is not a Canadian film), but was poorly received by critics and flopped on its release.
The Crazies – This remake stars Timothy Olyphant as a sheriff of a small Iowa town whose residents slowly begin to go insane and start killing one another. One by one, the entire town becomes affected leaving a small group to try and escape before they become one of them. For a horror film, The Crazies received very good reviews, and the film was a moderate success at the box office, so it is worth checking out.
The Warlords – This film stars Jet Li and is the story of three blood brothers who all have different motives in 1860’s China. Li’s character wants peace, and moves through the military and political ranks to get make peace happen, even if that means sacrificing some of his own people. One of his blood brothers believes in being loyal to his men, and not making political deals behind people’s backs, while the last blood brother is torn on what side to support. A climatic battle ensues and their dreams of peace end. The Warlords got decent notices on its release but never took off in North America.
Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage – This documentary is a must-have for any Rush fan as it chronicles how the band came to be, as well as how their sound has evolved from it’s progressive rock sound in the 1970’s to the more heavy rock it plays today. A ton of famous musicians appear in the film and talk about the influence of the band, and you see why Rush were so successful and still relevant to rock ‘n’ roll today.
The White Ribbon – This film was nominated for two Academy Awards this past year (Best Foreign Film and Best Cinematography) and is about life in a German village before the start of World War I and the violent actions of the inhabitants. The children of the town are made to wear a white ribbon every time they do something wrong, but what they are doing wrong is trivial compared to the events that unfold later in the film. The White Ribbon is written and directed by Michael Haneke who some people might remember as the director of Funny Games. His films are challenging but worth watching.
TV ON DVD
The Closer: The Complete Fifth Season – This season of the Kyra Sedgwick crime-drama deals with the theme of change as Sedgwick’s character deals with being married, and with the Priority Homicide Division now becoming the Major Crimes Division. We don’t hear a lot about the TNT series, but it also stars J.K. Simmons, and that is always a good thing.
Saving Grace: The Final Season – Another crime-drama from TNT, but this one stars Holly Hunter. Season Three starts with Grace getting one of her co-workers to help a drug addict that has an abusive boyfriend, but the good intentions go horribly wrong. They also find out about a terrorist attack that may take place at a policeman’s funeral. Holly Hunter is one of the best actresses working today, so it is worth checking out. Saving Grace got high ratings for TNT, but didn’t do well overseas or on DVD, and was cancelled.
Mad About You: The Complete Fourth Season – This season starts off with Paul having sex with Jamie but he can’t remember a thing about it the next morning. This show was on for seven seasons, and even though it stars the acclaimed Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser, and even has episodes written by Larry Charles, I never got into this show when it aired in the 90’s.
Until Next Tuesday!
There’s A New (And Very Cute) Biff Bam Popper In Town! – Best Characters That Were Born On Screen
Congratulations go out to this site’s illustrious Editor-in-Chief, Andy B who, along with his Queen (the brains and the beauty behind the Buffy geek) recently welcomed their first child, daughter Anya, to the world of film, music, video games, comic books and all things cool. Over the next few days, the writers of Biff Bam Pop! will be showcasing pop-culture inspired tributes to the proud new parents and their baby girl. Happy first week, Anya! Things get really, really poppy from here on in!
First up, Scotty G on the best characters that were born on screen…take it away, Scotty!
In honour of our colleague Andy’s baby, we at Biff Bam Pop! are coming up with lists inspired by newborns. I decided to make a Top Five list of my favourite characters that were literally born on screen. I had a couple of rules in coming up with this:
1) The character must have been mainly known from its film. Characters like Harry Potter and Superman don’t count as they were popular in another form before being adapted for film.
2) We had to see the “birth” of the character on film, or the baby when it was first born on screen
So with that in mind, here is my Top Five List of movie characters that were born on screen:
5) Luke Skywalker from The Star Wars Trilogy. He was born at the end of Episode III, and is one of the most iconic characters in film history. His struggle from being a poor farm boy, to one of the key players in the Rebel Alliance, to a final confrontation with his father is one of the most exciting journeys on film. To see the boy become a man, to see his attitude change from caring about just himself to caring about an entire galaxy that wants to defeat The Empire is always exciting. I think any parent would be proud of having a son like Luke.
4) The Alien from Alien. – This is one bad-ass baby. When it is first born, it jumps out of an egg onto John Hurt’s face. That was only phase one. Phase two is when the alien bursts out of John Hurt’s chest and you know this is one bad creature. It is angry and violent, and ready to kill. If you’re a parent, you know that if this was your kid, it definitely will not get bullied in school (having acid for blood will pretty much scare anyone away), but you know that you might have to deal with some anger management issues. I tease a little, but the alien is another iconic character in film history, which goes to show you the impact the film has had over the years, and I think to some degree, parents want their kids to make an impact on the world, but maybe not in the way that the alien did.
3) David from Artificial Intelligence: A.I. – Haley Joel Osment played the robot who only wants to be loved by his parents. David is adopted by a family that uses him to replace the void in their lives left by their real son, who is so ill that he lives in a state of cryo-stasis. David is everything a parent could ask for: polite, well-mannered, listens to his parents and is smart. Even when his mother leaves him in the woods (on purpose) when their real son is well enough to come home, he loves his family so much, his sole purpose is to rejoin them so he can feel the love of his mother. It’s definitely inspired by the “Pinocchio” story, but I still find David an interesting character. A lot of kids can be annoying on film, but David is mature for his age (even though he is a robot), and you care about his journey. David is someone you root want to see succeed, which is what most parents want for their kids.
2) Simba from The Lion King – From the opening shot of Simba being dangled over Pride Rock, you know the cub is going to be special, which is what every parent thinks of their baby. Like Luke Skywalker, Simba is a little selfish in his youth and more concerned about his own life than others. When his father is killed, and he is sent into exile, it still doesn’t dawn on Simba the responsibility he has and is more concerned about partying and living a care-free lifestyle (Parents – this is called university). Eventually he wises up and goes back to fight for what is rightfully his. The journey is the entertaining part, and parents always enjoy the moment when their son/daughter matures and starts to become a grown-up, and that’s why I include Simba on this list.
1) Truman Burbank from The Truman Show – We don’t see much of Truman as a child. We know that he was picked from a select group of babies and his life has been televised ever since he was picked. He is a kind, generous, humourous, kind, hard-working and good-natured human being. Think about this, he never once had a scandal in his entire time on the show. The audience that watches the show on TV has nothing but good things to say about him. Now, think about how many reality shows that we watch have characters we hate or want to see fail? Do you see how rare it is for someone to be a good person on a reality show? That’s why I pick Truman Burbank as the top character. Like Luke Skywalker and Simba, it’s always gratifying as a parent (in this case the audience who watches the show), to see their son/daughter have that moment of realization that they have to fight for themselves and stand-up for what they believe is right. Truman does that, and that is why he is my #1 pick.
That’s my list. Let me know what you think. Do you agree/disagree? Do you think my ranking order was wrong? Hope you enjoyed the list, and hopefully one day I will be able to understand what it is like to have a child and the responsibility that comes along with being a parent. I think of Lester Burnham’s final words in American Beauty when I talk to friends of mine who have kids. I can’t always relate to their lives, but I just remember what Lester said, “You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry. You will someday.”
Scotty G’s Box Office Wrap-Up Report
Remaining in 1st place was Toy Story 3 with an amazing gross of $59 million (I predicted a 1st place finish and a gross of $71.2 million million). Toy Story 3 had a per theatre average of $14,647 which for the second weekend in a row was the highest per theatre average in the top ten. Toy Story 3 was down 46.5% in its second weekend. The drop was on par with Disney’s other major hit this year Alice in Wonderland which opened with at $116 million, but had a 46% drop in its second weekend. The hold is excellent considering how big the opening weekend for the film was, but when compared to other Pixar films, the second weekend drop is quite high. Here’s the breakdown:
1) Monsters Inc. – 27.2% second weekend drop
2) The Incredibles – 28.7% second weekend drop
3) Toy Story – 30.8% second weekend drop
4) Finding Nemo – 33.7% second weekend drop
5) Up – 35.2% second weekend drop
6) Ratatouille - 38.3% second weekend drop
7) Cars - 43.9% second weekend drop
8) Toy Story 3 – 46.5% second weekend drop
9) Wall-E – 48.5% second weekend drop
Note – A Bug’s Life and Toy Story 2 opened in limited release, so their second weekend drops were not included.
Next weekend will be interesting, because on Wednesday The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opens, and that is expected to be one of the top blockbusters of the year, and should dominate all in its path, and then the weekend after that Despicable Me opens. So it’s definitely a rough couple of weeks ahead in terms of competition for Toy Story 3. I wouldn’t underestimate Toy Story 3 has people are quite loyal to the Pixar brand. After two weekends, Toy Story 3 has taken in $226.5 million.
Debuting in 2nd place is Grown Ups with a gross of $41 million (I predicted a 2nd place finish and a gross of $36 million). The per theatre average for Grown Ups was $11,602. The film is a return to form for Adam Sandler as Grown Ups gave Sandler his highest opening weekend since 2006’s Click. Here’s the list I used on Friday to make my predictions; just to show how this has been Sandler’s best opening weekend in five years.
2010 – Grown Ups – $41 million opening weekend
2009 – Paul Blart: Mall Cop – $31.8 million opening weekend
2008 – Bedtime Stories – $27.4 million opening weekend
2008 – You Don’t Mess with the Zohan – $38.5 million opening weekend
2007 – I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – $34.2 million opening weekend
2006 – Click - $40 million opening weekend
2005 – The Longest Yard – $47.6 million opening weekend
2004 – 50 First Dates – $39.8 million opening weekend
2003 – Anger Management – $42.2 million opening weekend
2002 – Mr. Deeds – $37.1 million opening weekend
2000 – Little Nicky – $16 million opening weekend
1999 – Big Daddy – $41.5 million opening weekend
1998 – The Waterboy – $39.4 million opening weekend
1998 – The Wedding Singer – $18.8 million opening weekend
Sandler looks to have another $100 million hit, and I would expect it to do all right in the coming weeks. It will drop a bit next weekend because of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and The Last Airbender opening, but it is the only major comedy in release in this weekend’s top five, so it should do all right.
Debuting in 3rd place is Knight and Day with a gross of $20.5 million (I predicted a 3rd place finish and a gross of $26 million). The per theatre average for Knight and Day was $6,617. The opening has to be a disappointment, as the opening weekend gross was lower than 2008’s Valkyrie which brought in $21 million on its opening weekend. The focus of the disappointment has to be on Tom Cruise, as he was the main star of the film, and despite mixed to decent reviews, everyone should be able to agree that Knight and Day underperformed. Cruise should be able to guarantee a $25-$30 million opening, and the premise of film was decent, as it looked like it could be a lot of fun. The marketing blitz was in full effect, and Cruise had some good buzz going for him after the MTV Movie Awards. None of the hype translated to its first weekend, and Knight and Day is just another film that has disappointed in the summer of 2010. Since its Wednesday opening, Knight and Day has taken in $27.7 million.
The Karate Kid dropped from 2nd place to 4th place with a gross of $15.4 million (I predicted a 4th place finish and a gross of $17.9 million). The Karate Kid had a per theatre average of $4,118 and was down only 48.5% from last weekend, which for the second weekend in a row means The Karate Kid had a drop of less than 50%. The Karate Kid has now become the highest grossing film in the franchise, surpassing The Karate Kid II’s gross of $115.1 million, although if you were to adjust the films for inflation, The Karate Kid II is way ahead. After three weekends, The Karate Kid has grossed $135.6 million.
Dropping from 3rd place to 5th place is The A-Team with a gross of $6 million (I predicted a 5th place finish with a gross of $7.9 million). The A-Team had a per theatre average of $1,851, and was down 58.3% from last weekend. The A-Team really took a big hit this weekend as the combination of Knight and Day and Grown Ups took away its audience. The per theatre average is also troublesome, and The A-Team looks like it will be on DVD shelves sooner than most people expected. After three weekends, The A-Team has grossed $62.8 million.
The rest of the top ten finished up like this:
Get Him to the Greek was the 6th place film with a gross of $3 million (I predicted a 6th place finish and a gross of $3.55 million). Get Him to the Greek had a per theatre average of $1,375 and was down 50.7% from last weekend. The drop for Get Him to the Greek is the highest in the course of its run, and it is no longer holding up as well as its counterpart Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Here’s a comparison for Get Him to the Greek and Forgetting Sarah Marshall after four weekends:
Get Him to the Greek – 50.7% drop on its third weekend
Forgetting Sarah Marshall – 36.7% drop on its fourth weekend
Get Him to the Greek – $54.4 million after four weekends
Forgetting Sarah Marshall – $50.7 million after four weekends
Forgetting Sarah Marshall finished its run with $62.8 million, and after four weekends Get Him to the Greek has taken in $54.4 million, so it’s going to be a close finish to see if Get Him to the Greek will have a higher gross than Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Shrek Forever After drops from 5th place to 7th place with a gross of $2.8 million. (I predicted a 9th place finish and a gross of $2.3 million). Shrek Forever After had a per theatre average of $1,229 and was down 48.8% from last weekend. The hold was much better than the previous weekend, but Shrek Forever After is definitely the weakest film in the franchise as here are the total grosses for all the films:
1) Shrek 2 – $441.2 million
2) Shrek The Third – $322.7 million
3) Shrek – $267.6 million
4) Shrek Forever After – $229.3 million after six weekends
With The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and The Last Airbender opening this coming weekend, I expect Shrek Forever After’s run to come to an end very soon. As mentioned above, after six weekends, Shrek Forever After has grossed $229.3 million.
Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time finished in 8th place with a gross of $2.8 million (I predicted a 7th place finish and a gross of $3.4 million). Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time had a per theatre average of $1,513 and was down 49.7% from last weekend. After five weekends, Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time has taken in $86.1 million.
Dropping from 7th place to 9th place is Killers with a gross of $2 million (I predicted a gross of $2.7 million and an 8th place finish). Killers had a per theatre average of $881 and was down 60.3% from last weekend. After four weekends, Killers has grossed $44 million.
Dropping from 8th place to 10th place is Jonah Hex with a gross of $1.6 million (I predicted a 10th place finish and a gross of $1.9 million). For the second weekend in a row, Jonah Hex had an absolutely horrendous per theatre average of $566 from 2,825 theatres. I consider Jonah Hex to be a bigger bomb than MacGruber as MacGruber had a budget of $10 million, and failed to even reach that number. Jonah Hex has a budget of $80 million, and should finish its run with a gross just over $10 million. After two weekends, Jonah Hex has grossed $9.1 million.
In other box office news:
In its 8th weekend, Iron Man 2 fell out of the top ten, as it finished in 11th place with a gross of $1.3 million. After eight weekends Iron Man 2 has grossed $306.7 million (The original Iron Man finished its run with $318.4 million).
Here’s the How to Train Your Dragon report for the weekend to see if it can succeed in its quest to become the highest grossing non-Shrek film in DreamWorks animation history. This weekend How to Train Your Dragon finished with a gross of $455,000. That number is up because DreamWorks animation increased the theatre count from 213 to 333. This increase boosted its box office 172.3% from last weekend, giving it a gross of $215.4 million, and it is now tied with Kung Fu Panda for the title of highest grossing non-Shrek film in DreamWorks animation history. Here’s the list:
1) Shrek 2 – $441.2 million
2) Shrek The Third – $322.7 million
3) Shrek – $267.6 million
4) Shrek Forever After – $229.3 million
5) Kung Fu Panda – $215.4 million
5) How To Train Your Dragon – $215.4 million
In limited release:
Wild Grass – The comedy about the French New Wave and a lost wallet grossed $35,700 from 5 theatres giving it a per theatre average of $7,140.
Restrepo – This film that takes a look at some U.S. soldiers fighting in Afghanistan grossed $30,500 from 2 theatres giving it a per theatre average of $15,250.
South of the Border – The Oliver Stone film that takes a look at the different movements (political and social) going on in South America grossed $21,000 from one theatre. This film had the highest per theatre average of the weekend.
Dogtooth has not reported its opening weekend grosses as of this writing.
So to recap, here were my predictions:
Toy Story 3 – $71.2 million
Grown Ups – $36 million
Knight and Day – $26 million
The Karate Kid – $17.9 million
The A-Team – $7.9 million
And here are the actual numbers:
Toy Story 3 – $59 million
Grown Ups – $41 million
Knight and Day – $20.5 million
The Karate Kid – $15.4 million
The A-Team – $6 million
My predictions compared to the actual top five films were off by $27.1 million.
Next weekend, vampires and werewolves do battle in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and for younger kids the action-adventure The Last Airbender opens. Check out Biff Bam Pop next Friday to read my predictions!
